


heaven does not seem to be my home

by lesbthor



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Dialogue, Character Study, Episode: s13e18 Bring 'em Back Alive, Fix-It, M/M, Not Beta Read, Slow Burn, Sort Of, Starts at 13x18, it gets more introspective later on i promise, like a lot of canon dialogue. sorry., rowena and gabe are mean gay bffs and i manifested it, sam patching up gabriel...pleading emoji im soft, this fic is for people whose fave character is gabriel i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28161651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbthor/pseuds/lesbthor
Summary: Gabriel has experienced life beforelife.He witnessed the creation of the world. He’s seen the start of humanity itself. He’s fought wars and seen destruction, some of which was probably at his own hands.He’s mighty, but he’s hurt. And he’s tired. And Sam has never seen someone so large look so small.---Or: A retelling of 13x18 and 13x20-23 (fuck 13x22 all my homies hate 13x22). Including missing scenes and divergence from canon, though most of the beginning is the same as canon. Mostly a character introspective of Gabriel, with endgame Sabriel and Rowena as his sort-of bestie. It is briefly Sam's POV but the rest is all Gabriel POV.
Relationships: Gabriel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 16
Kudos: 67





	1. gabriel, man, what happened to you?

**Author's Note:**

> sabriel feelings? in my 2020? also in the "every friend group has" post, gabriel is the mean bisexual and rowena is the even meaner lesbian. god bless. 
> 
> also first published fic pls be gentle. not beta read. like seriously I don't even really edit it bc I hate rereading so sorry for any mistakes
> 
> castiel was banished from heaven and found salvation in a man (dean) yes but gabriel ran from heaven and found redemption in a man (sam) and I think that is just as beautiful .

Gabriel sat on the bed, knees clutched to his chest with one arm, a slight tremor in his other hand as he stared at his palm. Stood a few feet from him was Sam, who was really just trying to wrap his whole head around this. A few sentimental words from Sam and suddenly Gabriel was jolted out of his dazed stupor? That didn’t make sense to him, though neither did the story of Gabriel’s survival and journey to this point. Sam covered his confusion the way any Winchester does- with nonchalance and humor. 

“Of course one of the first things you say to me in years is ‘porn-stars’.” Sam very politely did not mention that Gabriel had also waited until they were alone to speak.

Gabriel tilted his head and let a smirk pass over his face, though the humor did not reach his eyes. “Hey, I’m still the same guy.” His voice was gravelly with disuse. Or maybe it was exhaustion.

“Are you?” 

Sam didn’t mean to say that. But, still. Can you blame him? Gabriel is one of the most irritating creatures they’ve ever faced and is honestly just plain obnoxious, but man, he used to light up the room whenever he walked in. He carried himself with confidence and ease, apocalypse weighing on his shoulders or not. This was the first time Sam had ever seen Gabriel scared, actually scared, of anything. Yes, he was too scared to actually intervene with the apocalypse. But he still helped them. He stuck to the sidelines out of sentimentality and safety, rather than pure cowardice. 

Right now, Gabriel was curled into himself, hunched over on a bed. And Sam knew that Gabriel is ancient, weathered, but he’s never actually shown it before. The trickster gimmick Gabriel picked up over the years worked well for him because while he did radiate otherworldly power, he didn’t let his true origins through. Sam forgot that this is _the_ Gabriel, the archangel of justice and messenger of the Lord. Gabriel has experienced life before _life._ He witnessed the creation of the world. He’s seen the start of humanity itself. He’s fought wars and seen destruction, some of which was probably at his own hands. 

He was mighty, but he’s hurt. And he’s tired. And Sam has never seen someone so large look so small. 

Gabriel didn’t respond this time, so Sam called Cas back in to see if he can get Gabriel to talk further. He was unsuccessful. While watching the world’s most interesting stare off between an angel and an archangel, Sam got a call from Asmodeus. The visual fear that twisted Gabriel’s face in reaction to the southern drawl coming from the phone sent a pain straight to Sam’s heart. 

It wasn't long until the lights cut off and the alarm blared. The red shine of the emergency bulbs only added to the eerie atmosphere. 

He was here.

Sam and Castiel ventured off to defend the bunker, and almost immediately they were thrown to the floor at the hands of demon goons. Stood before them was Asmodeus, dressed in white head-to-toe. He had a very punchable face, Sam thought. More goons grabbed Gabriel and hauled him up the stairs. Asmodeus made a dramatic gesture with his hands, so like Gabriel and yet so different, and Sam felt something deep within his abdomen constrict. 

He didn’t feel in trouble for long, of course, when he saw over Asmodeus’ shoulder Gabriel push the demons that were holding onto him over the railing. 

Asmodeus was saying something, Sam was sure of it, but he couldn’t bring himself to listen. All of his attention was honed in on the archangel in the room, who was gripping the railing with his head bowed. Sam’s eyes widened with amazement when Gabriel abruptly stood up, eyes brilliantly glowing and effectively shaking off any evidence of his kidnapping from his person, save for the tarnished clothing. The blood and any signs of wounds were gone, as well as the beard. If Sam wasn’t already heaving from Asmodeus cutting off his air supply, he would’ve gasped at the large shadows of wings reflecting behind Gabriel’s looming figure. 

Asmodeus cast something in Gabriel’s direction-is that a ball of light energy? When did Sam’s life become an anime? Gabriel knocked it away with his arm before it could do any damage to him. 

“Oh, by the way, I always hated that dumbass suit,” Gabriel remarked, and, okay, Sam admitted that was kind of cool. 

Gabriel reached out his hand and Asmodeus catches on fire. Sam flinched and covered his face with his arm. Asmodeus’ screaming pierced his ears, and when it stops, Sam looked from where he stood to where Gabriel was still standing. 

The smirk was back on his face, but this time it was paired with a twinkle in his eye. 


	2. uh...yeah, not a big joiner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel was hedonistic and laid-back to a fault. He was selfish. Yet, there’s some part of Sam, deep down, that missed him. He was sad to see Gabriel flee the bunker and not just because they really could use his help.
> 
> Sam knows that they probably could have convinced Gabriel to help them this time too even without the deal of helping him with Loki. As long as Gabriel wasn’t preoccupied, Sam is convinced he would’ve eventually tagged along anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time skip!! bc i didnt wanna write the rest of the 13x18 episode <3 this is 13x20 time. also "your witch" eye emoji. laying the groundwork for gabe rowena friendship.
> 
> also reading this back I realized I use italics a lot for emphasis lmao

Well, this felt familiar. It has only been a few days since Sam tended to Gabriel’s wounds from Asmodeus, and here he was again tending to Gabriel’s wounds, the cause this time being unknown to Sam. After cleaning the deep gashes in Gabriel’s side, Sam tried to place the bandage as gently as he could, though Gabriel was going to dramatically scrunch his face up whether it actually hurt him or not.

Sam wiped his hands with a towel and heard Dean ask over his shoulder, "How did you know we were here?"

"Come on. I felt your witch’s tracking spell the second she laid it on me. Tasted like haggis." Gabriel sat up.

Sam would swear up and down that it was purely out of necessity and curiosity, definitely not worry, that he asked, "So now you’re in trouble?"

Sam would, however, admit to the bitchface he threw Gabriel’s way when Gabriel decided to respond with, "What gave you that idea?" As if there aren’t claw marks on his abdomen and blood stained on his shirt. 

Sam only half-listened to the bullshit excuse Gabriel tried giving for showing up at their motel looking like he just got mauled after hauling ass from the bunker. Gabriel asking for his grace, however, got his full attention. "Oh, did you drain it killing Asmodeus?" It would make sense, considering Asmodeus was a prince of Hell and Gabriel just made him spontaneously combust like it was nothing.

"And ditching you," Gabriel said, very helpfully.

After explaining that they didn’t have any of his grace left, so he was basically shit outta luck, Gabriel flopped over as if he felt it appropriate to take a nap instead of continuing the conversation.

He slept for a while, but Sam would guess it wasn’t very peaceful with how abrupt Gabriel sat up and had to re-identify his surroundings. 

Sam stood from the table and slowly walked over to him, trying to put as much reasoning into his tone as he can, saying, "Look, Gabriel. We don’t really know what’s going on here-"

"We need your help," Dean cut him off, blunt as ever.

When Gabriel declines like Sam figured he would without any coaxing, Dean gets visibly irritated. "Oh, so you got better things to do than save the world?" Dean asked, incredulously.

"Exactly."

Sam couldn’t say he wasn’t surprised, but he couldn’t stop himself from feeling disappointed either. Gabriel had been an essential part of them stopping the end of the world the first time. Even though they managed just fine without him the other times, it would still be beneficial to have an archangel ally. 

And maybe, just maybe, Sam had missed him. A little bit. 

He was funny, okay?

Sam watched Gabriel stride past them toward the door, carrying his stuff, clearly intending on ditching them again. Before he could leave, though, the door flew open. There stood two more demigods, looking like they would want nothing more than to kick Gabriel’s ass, and, okay, wouldn’t we all.

Fighting a couple of Norse demigods certainly wasn’t on the to-do list for the day, but the universe sends out fun little surprises like that all the time. At least, for Sam and Dean, it does. After successfully killing one and watching the other one flee, Dean seemed to have had enough.

"You’re not going anywhere," Dean said, holding up a pair of inscribed handcuffs. Sam shifted from foot to foot. Okay, refusing to let an archangel go after one of the guys who just tried to kill them. Good plan, Dean. Though, Sam wouldn’t mind some answers either.

Gabriel just looked sort of annoyed. Definitely tired. 

They secured him in place, an arm cuffed to the divider wall in the motel room, and went off to dispose of the dead guy on the floor. When they got back, they press him for the full story of what exactly is going on. They settled down, ready to hear what Gabriel had to say.

"Okay, they’re not really demigods. Look, the whole Norse pantheon is its own weird thing. Think of them more like god-begotten monsters."

That piqued Sam’s interest, but before the nerd in him could ask about it, Dean spoke up, "Whatever. What did they want with you?"

Gabriel looked to the side as if he really didn’t want to answer. But he did. "I killed their brother."

"Why?" Sam asked, very slowly. Remembering Gabriel’s track record, it could’ve been because of anything from embezzling from a charity to being slightly rude to a waitress. 

This was when Gabriel decided to let them know that they still don’t actually know everything that’s happened to him since he faked his own death at the hands of Lucifer.

Hiding out with a bunch of Norse demigods was nowhere near the weirdest thing Sam’s heard all year and Gabriel talking about how much sex he has was no more surprising. 

"I had it made-all the booze I could drink, all the, uh, _entertainment_ I could handle." And, okay, Gabriel did _not_ need to look right at Sam when he said that. 

"Okay! Why don’t we just skip to the end?" Sam didn't need to think about this two feet away from his brother. 

He also didn’t want to think about how Gabriel must’ve felt being sold off, _literally,_ by his found pagan family. People who he liked. Again, actually, considering Kali tried to stab him before Lucifer ever did. Betrayal wasn’t taken lightly even by humans, considering he and Dean were no strangers to revenge plots. For an archangel, though? The angel of justice, no less? Sam can’t imagine the would-be results of the wrath of Gabriel if he was at full power. 

"You had to do it the old-fashion way- with wood."

Gabriel tilted his head and gave the easiest smile he’s given since the whole Asmodeus thing. "Don’t let anybody ever tell you you’re just a pretty face." He was close to full-on grinning, now.

"Alright," Sam did not want to look over at however Dean chose to react to that comment, so he stood and walked over to the case sitting on the bed as he spoke. "Anyway, if there are three gods or monsters or whatever, how come there are four swords?"

"Oh," Gabriel looked vaguely proud of Sam for noticing, which, rude. "That top one? That is for the man with a plan. The architect of my torture, and my own personal public enemy numero uno. Their papa, Loki."

Dean took a swig from his flask. "Hold on. I thought _you_ were Loki?"

Gabriel sighed, "It's trippy, I know. Look, remember when I told you I went into witness protection? Well, who do you think put me there?"

"Loki?" Sam asked. After Gabriel’s subsequent nod, he continued, "You and Loki are friends?"

Gabriel tilted his head and said "Oh, well…" He let out a humorless chuckle. "We _were._ A few thousand epochs ago, I was out for a hike in the fjords. Came across Loki bound in a cave, snake dripping venom into his eye. Ugh." He grimaced dramatically. "Apparently, he had some spat with his pops. Anyhoo, I freed him. Saved his life. Then my real brothers started going at it. I wanted out. Loki owed me one, so… he helped me ditch Gabriel and become him."

Dean tossed his flask aside. "So then you took on his whole… trickster vibe."

Gabriel tapped his nose and pointed at him, signaling that he was right. Sam was just starting to wrap his mind around the idea of an angel becoming a pagan god, but it was making less sense now that he knows there actually is a real Loki and Gabriel wasn’t him for the entire time. "What did Loki do while you were impersonating him?"

"Oh. Well, he had his own family drama to worry about. It was in his best interest to go off the grid for a while."

Sam cut Dean off before he could speak up. "How is it being off the grid when you were out pretending to be him? You certainly weren’t trying to hide yourself as Loki."

Gabriel raised an eyebrow in confusion, so Sam continued, "You were stirring up trouble as the trickster. We came across you several times, and that’s just us alone. There’s no way you weren’t actually fucking around outside of the times we saw you. Are you saying you didn’t draw attention?"

Gabriel had the audacity to roll his eyes. "Messing with humanity only drew attention from hunters, who all thought I was just a nameless trickster anyway. Not a Norse god. Also, for the record, the only ‘trouble’ I stirred as Loki was purely for selfish reasons." 

Gabriel scrunched his face in a sarcastic smile. 

Kali, Sam guessed. And any other goddesses he might’ve fooled around with. 

Dean interjected, "Wait, I thought you mingled with all the other gods. If you didn’t, what was all that shit you pulled back at Elysian Fields?"

"I did. Well," Gabriel shrugged. "Sort of. They became my pseudo-friends." Sam figured that he got closer to the other gods than that, but wouldn’t admit it. "But, even if they didn’t, they all know what Loki looks like, and I assure you that I am a spitting image."

He looked at Sam, and Sam tried not to think about two Gabriels. Nope. No sir.

Dean scoffed. "You know, none of this would've happened if you'd had just… stuck around and helped us fight Lucifer."

"Hey, I did help you." Gabriel stood up. "Casa Erotica?"

"You call that help?" Sam asked before he could stop himself.

"I call that art." Gabriel tilted his head again. Man, the angels must all have a head tilting gene or something. Do angels have genes? 

"But yes, without me, you two chuckleheads never would've known how to throw Lucifer back in the Cage." Sam had to concede that point.

Dean, of course, disagreed. "But instead of giving us a hand, you ran. And you just did it again when you ditched us in the bunker."

Sam thought Gabriel had a point, even though he’d rather die than say that out loud. He figured he should try to stave off this argument before it blew up. "All right, Dean-"

Gabriel cut him off. "I have more important things to do than to join your little band of merry men." He was starting to look tired and irritated again. 

"Hey, what you're doing? This? This is not important," Dean said. And, okay. Sam wouldn’t call his brother stupid but really?

Gabriel was clearly starting to get mad. Actually mad. "Every day, Asmodeus tortured me. _Every day!_ He fed off my grace for years! He used me, he debased me until I was-" He paused to collect himself. "What I went through… you don't forgive." He looked uncharacteristically serious. "Everyone who had a hand in it will die. Get me?"

Gabriel looked between Sam and Dean, and Sam could practically feel the simmering anger beneath Gabriel’s skin. "Yeah. We do," Sam said. Call him soft if you want.

Gabriel looked over at Sam and continued to look at him even after Dean started talking again, "Okay, you went through it. We get it, alright? But killing Loki? Not gonna change any of that. It's not. In fact, probably not even gonna make you feel better."

Sam appreciated Gabriel very pointedly not bringing up the fact that he and Dean have both gone off of several revenge plots themselves, including the one that got Sam back into hunting in the first place. 

Gabriel didn’t bring up any of that. Instead, he said, "Well, agree to disagree, Dean-o. We all have our demons. Mine are here, in this town."

Sam nodded. "Okay. But, you're low on grace. And Loki knows you're coming."

Dean saw where this was going. "Sam." He grabbed Sam’s arm and dragged him into the hall so they could talk privately. 

Sam looked at him expectantly. "What?"

"Not like I care about killing gods, okay? But this whole revenge kick? It's a waste of time."

"What if it's not?"

"You've seen it, Sam. With me, with Dad. Revenge only ends one way- ugly."

"Well, maybe it doesn't have to."

Dean looked down. "Okay, I think I know what this is."

Uh oh. "Okay, what is this?"

"You. You're so hopped up on this ‘Kill Bill’ fantasy of his-"

Sam shook his head. "No, no, no. This has nothing to do with me." But if Gabriel’s little speech _had_ affected him, well. Dean didn’t need to know that.

"If you had a shot at Lucifer, you wouldn't take it?"

"Of course I would. But this is about Gabriel." Sam was not going to plead. He wasn’t. But he might’ve tried to put a little emotion into his words. "He needs our help."

Dean rolled his eyes but follows Sam back into the room. Gabriel looked up at them. Well, he looked up at Sam. 

"Gabriel, you agree to help us, we'll agree to help you."

Gabriel fought back a smirk and looked over at Dean for confirmation. Dean gave a reluctant shrug. 

Gabriel hummed and let the corners of his mouth quirk up.

\---

They were outside the Ophidian hotel, and Sam busies himself by putting Gabriel’s sword case into the trunk of the Impala, so he won’t think about the heated words exchanged between Loki and Gabriel. Some of which were similar to things that Dean has said to him in private. 

_You're a failure. You live for pleasure. You stand for nothing. And in the end, that's exactly what you'll die for._

Those words kept bouncing around Sam’s head. He can’t exactly describe the way that they made him feel. Similarly, he can’t exactly explain to Dean why he visibly reacted to them back inside. He remembers standing in the middle of that ugly motel room with the bright green floral wallpaper pleading with Dean to try to ally with the trickster. _Wine, women, song,_ he said. And, yes, the point of TV Land was to get them to play along with the apocalypse and say yes to Michael and Lucifer. But, Sam knew the other part of his statement was still true. _Maybe he hates this “Angels and Demons” stuff as much as we do._ And he did. Still does. It took Sam a while to come to terms with it, but the talk in the warehouse really helped him understand. Gabriel did want them to just let the apocalypse happen, but it was only because he didn’t see it ending any other way. He felt trapped. And the whole being too scared to stand up to his family thing, well. Dean was one to talk. 

Gabriel was hedonistic and laid-back to a fault. He was selfish. Yet, there’s some part of Sam, deep down, that missed him. He was sad to see Gabriel flee the bunker and not just because they really could use his help. Despite everything, including doing literally whatever it takes to get his way, Gabriel did help them the first time. He distracted Lucifer long enough for them to leave and then gave them the first and only solid plan that they had to deal with the apocalypse. Sam knows that they probably could have convinced Gabriel to help them this time too even without the deal of helping him with Loki. As long as Gabriel wasn’t preoccupied, Sam is convinced he would’ve eventually tagged along anyway. 

After Sam put the case into the trunk, he stepped forward next to Dean, and Gabriel started talking, "Listen… I know you two weren't the, uh, eagerest of beavers when it came to helping me out back there, so, uh-" He looked down, thumbs shoved in his pockets. When he looked back up it looked as if it physically pained him to express gratitude, and Sam bit back a smile. "I-I just wanna say… thanks."

Before Sam or Dean could respond, Gabriel was quick to change the subject. "So, this other world Michael… how we doing this?"

And Sam knew he was just thinking about how Gabriel was helpful, but, you can’t blame him for double-checking. "Wait, you're actually gonna help us?"

Dean looked all too eager to agree with the surprise in Sam’s voice. "Yeah, no tricks?"

Gabriel shrugged it off. "A deal is a deal. And if I'm being perfectly honest, tricks are for kids."

Sam almost laughed, but he figured it would be awkward. He wondered how long that would last. The idea of Gabriel staying at the bunker and staying completely out of the way and behaving himself is hysterical, but it’s also sobering. Is it because he actually wants to be helpful or are Loki’s words stuck in his head as well? Is he trying to undo centuries of fucking around by being a serious ally to Sam and Dean? Dean walks off to get into the car, and Sam takes this as an opportunity to talk to Gabriel one on one.

"Hey. How you feeling? Now that you-"

"Got my sweet, sweet vengeance on?"

"Yeah, sure. I guess."

Gabriel had a soft smile on his face. "Swell, Sam. I'm a whole new guy." It was almost believable.

Sam nodded and gave him a smile in return that was probably just as ingenuine. He figured they could both pretend that what had just happened was fine, at least for now. "That's what I thought."

They both got into the Impala and Dean drove them off to the bunker. Inside, Castiel was waiting for them, sitting in the war room, and Sam assumed Rowena was in the library. Castiel stood up as Sam, Dean, and Gabriel made their way down the stairs.

"Gabriel," Cas acknowledged the archangel with a head nod.

Gabriel grinned. "Hey, little bro. So, I take it you’re obviously a major player in ‘team go-to-another-universe-and-get-your-asses-killed’? Who else is on board?"

Sam could’ve sworn he saw Castiel clench his jaw, but he bet Cas wouldn’t admit it. "Well," Castiel said, "Rowena is also helping us-"

"Rowena?" Gabriel looked between Cas and Sam. 

"Uh, yeah? Rowena Macleod? She helped us track you, remember? You said you knew that," Dean spoke up.

"I knew of her, but I haven’t actually met her," Gabriel looked around, distracted. "Is she here?"

Sam said, confused, "Yeah, she’s here. She’s familiarizing herself with the demon tablet. You’ll meet her soon."

"Okay." Gabriel still sounded distracted.

Castiel gestured outwards, "I believe she is in the library."

Before anyone could say anything Gabriel made his way out and into the library. Sam followed, and he wasn’t sure whether Dean and Cas were right at his heels or whether they were reuniting in the war room- which, gross. Gabriel stopped abruptly at the start of the room, and Sam had to do the same to avoid crashing into Gabriel’s back. 

"Holy shit," Gabriel murmured. 

Sam was about to ask what the hell was going on when Rowena looked up and immediately stood. "What the hell?" Okay, well, she beat him to it. 

Gabriel looked over and above his shoulder at Sam. "I know her," he laughed. It was almost a giggle and Sam was very adamant that it was not cute or adorable in any way. He made a noise of confusion instead to get Gabriel to elaborate.

"She prayed to my buddy Lugh, once."

"Lugh?"

"Celtic trickster god. We gotta stick together, y’know?"

Rowena stepped forward. She looked to be right at the intersection of surprised and pissed. "Loki?"

"Ah, no. Not quite, anyway. It’s a very long and very messy story that I’m sure the jolly plaid giant is very tired of hearing." Which was not true, actually. Sam found it very interesting, though he knows Dean would call him a nerd for it. Gabriel continued, "I’m Gabriel, actually. The archangel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk i thought it would be interesting if rowena had a prior connection to gabriel since shes a witch and he spent a lot of time as a pagan. hope it makes sense. 
> 
> Also sorry if you interpret gabriels time as loki differently than I do, this is just how I visioned it. if u saw it a different way u can imagine he's just lying to sam and dean for funsies


	3. he liked her. immediately

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She regarded him with an inquisitive stare. “You consider yourself moral?”
> 
> “I consider myself just.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pov change! Its been sam up until now im sure uve noticed but its gabes now lol. it might shift back but it will be obvious when it does hopefully
> 
> I do not ship gabriel and rowena bc like I said earlier I think rowena is a lesbian but I do think that they are mean best friends !! i think they have a mutual respect that they cover up with sarcasm . 
> 
> also I don't know how time passed as they were planning and getting ready for the plan so I just guessed that they got back from the loki thing late evening/near night and they were going to head out in the morning since sam woke up at the beginning of 13x21? unless he was just taking a nap or smth lmao

Gabriel could feel Sam’s heat on his back, which he was not going to point out because, if he did, Sam would definitely back up, and Gabriel does not have time to unpack why that would be such a travesty to him. Instead, he tried to keep his attention on the fiery little redhead in front of them. Rowena. He knew the name was familiar. Witches call upon the pagans for powerful projects all the time but rarely was it from someone with magic so strong or ambitions so high. 

He could feel her sizing him up, so it was only fair for him to do the same. He liked her. Immediately. And he was fairly sure it was only a little because she was stunning. Gabriel knew he might be naturally very distrusting, but he could recognize an icon when he sees one, and, at first glance, no one seemed more iconic than Rowena Macleod. She showed up to help the Winchesters with a crazy, unwinnable mission in her black lace peplum gown, and her strappy little heels, and he can see a huge black sunhat and sunglasses sitting on the table, and Gabriel was floored over the fact that Sam and Dean have managed to find someone this cool to help them. She was looking him in the eye, and though he was still low on grace, he let his eyes glow and sent a sharp spark of energy through the air. The lights flickered, a warning. 

She stood her ground, unshaken. And, yeah. He liked her. 

“Ah. So you’re the archangel that got away. Hope you have enough grace left.”

It was _just_ condescending enough, and Gabriel geared up to retort, but Sam cut in, “Actually, uh, we were thinking about doing the spell tomorrow. That way we can all rest and set out in the morning.” Sam gently grabbed Gabriel by cupping his, frankly enormous, hand around the inside of Gabriel’s elbow. “We can get Castiel to help you settle in while Rowena finishes looking at the demon tablet."

At the end of his statement, he pointedly looked at Rowena, signaling her to get back to work. She huffed and gave Gabriel one last meaningful glance before turning back to the table. Sam steered Gabriel toward the hallways of bedrooms and Castiel joined them on the way. Cas and Sam shared respectful nods, and Sam went back to the war room, probably to have an angsty brotherly moment with Dean. Ugh. 

Gabriel thought about commenting on how he has been in the bunker before, so he didn't exactly need a tour, but he bit it back when he saw the emotion in Castiel’s eyes. 

“Uh-”

Before Gabriel could ask him about it, Cas wrapoed him into a hug. “Oh, okay. We’re doing this. Um, what’s up?”

“It was troubling to see the state you were in when Ketch brought you here last. I’m glad you are better.”

That was enough sappiness for tonight. “Thanks, Cas. Uh, you too.” That didn’t make sense. Gabriel will blame in on the hives he was probably getting from all this sentimentality. “I think I’m going to lay down now.”

“Of course,” Castiel said, leading Gabriel to a room marked ‘12’. 

Gabriel opened the door, figuring this was supposed to be his room and-okay. It was his room. He dropped his arm and looked around, bemused. The Enochian was still scrawled all over the walls, telling the abridged version of Gabriel’s life post-Lucifer and pre-Asmodeus. He looked over at Castiel, who was still stood in the doorway, and fixed him with a disgruntled look, hoping his annoyance is obvious. 

Castiel looked a little too pleased. And that was definitely a smirk on his face. Bastard. “Rest well,” he said. He turned and walked out without a word. Gabriel rolled his eyes and closed the door behind him. He could probably use one of the other free bedrooms, but he didn’t feel like arguing, and he also really didn’t want to accidentally go into Sam or Dean’s rooms. His exhaustion was finally starting to catch up with him. He took off his jacket and settled into the bed and closed his eyes. 

He didn’t know how long he was asleep, but he startled awake after what felt like no time at all. His head was swimming, and he looked around to double-check where he was. He knew he had an abrupt awakening in the motel in front of Sam and Dean earlier and the hot embarrassment made his skin crawl just as much as the fucking weight on his chest. He felt as if someone poured cement down his throat and let it harden inside his esophagus and lungs. 

Gabriel lumbered out of the bed and ducked out into the hallway. Due to the dead silence that surrounded him, he figured Sam and Dean were already asleep. He found himself making his way to the library, seemingly subconsciously. If he didn’t _do_ something right now he would die. 

As dead as the air in the hallway was, he figured the rest of the bunker would be as empty, but there was a soft glow in the library, and someone was sitting at one of the tables. Before Gabriel could change his mind about entering because he really did not want any company right now, the sole figure turned towards him, so he decided to keep going. 

“I thought you needed your rest. You still look dreadful, poor thing,” Rowena spoke up from where she was still sitting. 

Sarcasm Gabriel could handle, though he didn’t appreciate the pity, fake or not. 

“Only because I’m stuck in the fortress of hunt-itude,” he sat down across from her. “Some crazy guy graffitied my room.”

She tilted her head and brought up her hand to rest her chin on it. “Oh?”

“Yeah, just fuckin’ scrawled all over the walls. Wrote about pornstars and stuff. Talk about salacious.”

“I just can’t imagine who that could’ve been. But perhaps it was the same one who accompanied Sam and Dean on a pagan massacre.” Her eyes bore into his, though she kept her tone light.

Gabriel felt his heart drop a little, but he felt more petulant than scared. He hummed. “Well, a massacre is for the slaughter of many people, usually a very large group, and we only took out four,” he swiped the bottle of bourbon sitting on the table and took a swig. Even with his lower power, he could probably chug the whole thing and feel fine. He was mainly just trying to find something to take part of his attention away from this conversation and the curious nature of the witch across him. “Also ‘massacre’ implies immorality.”

She regarded him with an inquisitive stare. “You consider yourself moral?”

“I consider myself just.”

She leaned in and grabbed the bottle out of his hand and placed it back onto the table, slender fingers tracing along the side. “Just you may be, but you certainly don’t have manners.” She refilled the glass by her elbow.

Gabriel choked out a laugh, quiet enough to not ring throughout the room. When he looked back up at her, she was still staring intently at him. He raised his eyebrows, trying to signal ‘what the hell do you want from me’ at her nonverbally until she took the hint. It worked apparently, or she was just really interested.

“So, fancy to tell me about the little adventure you went on with the boys earlier? And why it was so important that you ran from the bunker like a little child?”

Gabriel raised his eyebrows. “I thought you knew about it already. You called me immoral, remember? Just now?”

Rowena hummed. “I believe it was only implied. And I only got the broad strokes from tall and taller. What I want to know is why you would busy yourself chasing down a few demigods when it is _your_ family drama that the Winchesters are bothering with.”

Gabriel cleared his throat. “First of all? Not my family. The Michael in this universe is still in the cage. And second-” He made a half-hearted swipe for the bottle, she pulled it out of his reach. “I went after a couple of pricks who sold me out the second they got the chance. And if the gossip spreads so fast, you should know about my time with Ass-modeus, right? The demonic Colonel Sanders? Taking them out for their part in it was the only thing on my mind. Besides,” He leaned forward. She instinctively leaned back, but he continued nevertheless, “I’m surprised _you're_ helping. Last time I heard, you were very pro-every witch for herself. What happened to _that_ huh?”

Rowena narrowed her eyes, a dangerous smile gracing her lips. “Don’t presume to know anything about me.”

He grinned and put his elbow on the table, holding his head in his hand. “You prayed to me.”

“I prayed to Lugh-”

“And I was Loki at the time, same difference.” He was still grinning. “Tricksters are kind of interchangeable, sweet stuff.” 

“Okay,” Rowena scoffed. “That is not quite true, but I will not sit here and argue with someone so-”

“So..?”

“Short.”

Gabriel quirked a brow. He couldn’t decide to be amused or offended. “Ah yes, you tower over everyone, don’t you. Mind telling me about your allyship to the chucklefuck brothers? Sitting here, stewing over the tablet. Seems a little too _Failure to Launch_ for me. You tracked me for them.”

“No hard feelings about that, right, angel?”

“Not much I could do about it even if there were,” Gabriel shrugged in painful honesty. “Though, you dodged the question there, red.”

Rowena looked down and sighed. She barely met his eyes as she responded, “Redemption.”

Figures. Gabriel had an idea that that’s what it was about. A small part of him had to agree. The same small part that felt a pull toward the bunker even as he ran as far from the situation as possible. The part of him that almost entertained the idea of helping. With the guise of paganism stripped away, the comfort of Loki ripped from hands, he was all angel. He always knew, deep down, under all the tricks, he was still angel where it counted. But that didn’t sway his fears. The fear that he’s been from heaven too long, that he’s messed up his chances for good, that he’s fundamentally different than who he was back then. In a way, he kept to his roots, giving just desserts to assholes on Earth, mimicking his serving of justice in Heaven. But he’s cut his ties. He knows that, as the only archangel that’s available, he is probably the most powerful heavenly figure right now. If he would return, they would probably ask him to lead, that is, if they didn’t immediately shun him for leaving in the first place. He doesn’t know which possibility is worse. 

Rowena interrupted his thinking. “Samuel claimed us to be similar, you know,” she hummed. 

“Oh yeah? Because we’re both monsters he tried to buddy up with whilst Dean-o advises him otherwise?”

“Because we’re both trying our best with what we’ve been given.” She didn’t take the bait. “I’ll admit it wasn’t until lately, but I, as well as you, have used my powers against people that I deemed deserving.”

“I’m sorry, is this supposed to be uplifting? Was this a compliment?”

She shook her head, and her almost-fond smile slipped into something more annoyed. She gave him a look as if there’s something he’s not getting, as if she thinks he’s stupid, and, to be fair, she probably does. “The Winchesters looked down upon it, because they are very traditional that way. No killing no matter what, unless they say so, of course. But, ultimately, we were _trying_. To do good. It was in a terrible, inhuman way, but we were trying nevertheless.”

Gabriel had to physically stop himself from snorting. “How sweet. We are capable of so much destruction and yet we are saved for fucking trying. Okay.” He leans in again, and Rowena does not move, standing- well. Sitting her ground. “Right and wrong is off the table. We are monsters, point-blank. There is nothing they, well, _Dean_ , will ever see otherwise,” he pointed out. And it was true, Gabriel believed. Dean has always seen things in black and white, whereas Sam has seen the world in empathetic shades of gray. And yes, Gabriel was proud of himself for not making a _Fifty Shades_ joke. 

“You said it yourself. Our actions are inhuman. And the more often they are reminded that we are not human, the better.”

“You don’t mean that,” Rowena’s voice was soft, softer than it has been for the entirety of this conversation. Why is Gabriel talking to her again? “Besides, human or not, we’re powerful. We’re all they’ve got. They need us right now.” Oh, yeah. Stressful, stupid, we’re-all-gonna-die mission up ahead. That’s why he was killing time sitting in the library, which faintly smells of newspaper as if anyone here has read that shit at any point in recent time. 

“Great. We’re like fucking Pokemon. Collect all the inhuman allies to create the perfect anti-apocalypse team. Do you have any faith at all in what we’re doing?”

“You cannot blame them for wanting back-up, especially with what they are planning.” She looked down before meeting Gabriel’s eyes and continues, tone softer this time, “It’s risky. Quite risky. I doubt they will have enough time.”

“You think their asses are toast?”

“Oh, I think they’ll survive and come back through the door. They’re Winchesters. The question is whether they will be able to find and bring back their mother and the little Nephilim boy.” 

Gabriel nodded. “Ah, my nephew. Bet he’s a little rascal,” he said with a smirk.

“He’s a little cutie. Easy to underestimate, for sure.”

There was no doubt in Gabriel’s mind that was true. Nephilims are powerful, he knew from experience. He witnessed the creation and subsequent slaughter of Nephilim, flawed abominations that were not supposed to exist- or so Heaven’s officials said. Gabriel himself had no personal feelings one way or another about Nephilim, but this one, Jack, he was the offspring of an archangel. He cannot imagine what Jack is probably capable of with the right provocation. 

“Still crazy to think that Lucifer has a son,” Gabriel commented, not missing the very slight twitch to Rowena’s face. Which was- really? Get in line, lady. Gabriel was unsuccessfully murdered by Lucifer first. And he would probably admit Sam was probably right there behind him when it comes to getting even with the Devil. 

Uncharacteristically, he decided to act as if he did not notice it. Many have been wronged by Lucifer, and there will probably be more in the future, considering. 

He stood from the table and looked at Rowena. “Good luck with the whole demon tablet thing. I’m sure this whole thing will be a miraculous success,” he sounded only slightly like an asshole, though he sounded entirely ingenuine. 

She gave him an icy stare. “I am sure as long as the ingredients are in tip-top shape, we’ll be fine.”

Gabriel quirked an eyebrow and hummed. He made his way back to the bedroom, but he had a feeling he wasn’t going to get any more rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if it seems ooc . idk i just adore rowena a lot I think u can tell so that kind of bled into the story. also I know the outfit described is not what shes wearing in 13x21 but since I imagined that taking place in the next morning she probably goes home to sleep and changes. also she has to leave the bunker to go get ingredients anyway right. idk I just couldn't get this outfit out of my head <3 rowena invented fashion


	4. since when did you want to be helpful?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel went off to talk with Sam and Dean, leaving Gabriel and Rowena in the library. 
> 
> Gabriel felt the same hot embarrassment as before creep up the back of his neck. He walked around the library, trying to busy himself to put off any comments about his lack of power.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now we're really diverging from canon bc I cut out the sex scene <3 also she likes gabriel i promise. some of her dialogue maybe a little mean as if she doesnt but i believe neither of them would be forthcoming with their emotions so they would both be rude and like. very occasionally genuine.

The morning came way too quickly. 

Gabriel’s suspicions were correct, as he did not really get any more rest after his little venture to the library. A knock at the door pulled his attention. Castiel’s voice rang through, “Um, Gabriel?” 

Gabriel hummed, which apparently gave Cas the ‘okay’ to open the door. He stood there, looking somber at the upcoming events. “It’s time.” 

Gabriel blinked slowly and didn’t even have time to roll his eyes before Castiel stepped back into the hallway and beckoned for Gabriel to follow. He stood and stepped out after Castiel, closing the door behind him. They only walked a few feet before Gabriel held his hand out in front of Castiel. 

“Wait.”

Castiel tilted his head, puzzled.

“I, uh. Let me do this alone. Just give me a minute, okay?”

Castiel shifted from foot to foot. “Okay,” he sounded unsure. “What do you want me to tell Sam and Dean?”

“Just tell them what I said. I want to do this in private.” Castiel nodded and handed Gabriel a small, empty vial from his pocket. Gabriel took it and slipped past Castiel while Castiel moved forward, intending on meeting up with the others. 

“Hey, Cas?”

If Castiel was annoyed by being stopped again, he didn’t show it. He looked over his shoulder at Gabriel. 

“Tell them I went into Dean’s room,” Gabriel said, keeping his face neutral.

The corner of Castiel’s mouth quirked up, just a smidge, but Gabriel counted it as a win. He gave a shift nod and continued on his way. 

Gabriel sighed and looked down at the vial. Oh, boy.

\---

Sam looked up when he heard Castiel entering the room. “Hey. How’s Gabriel?” He was at least partially sure his tone was normal. That was a normal thing to ask, after all.

“He said he needed a minute alone. He wanted to extract his grace by himself. ‘In private,’” Castiel answered, using finger quotes.

Sam looked up again, slightly disturbed. That certainly was a way to phrase it. 

Castiel continued, bless him, “So, I left him alone in Dean’s room.”

“You what? No.” The alarm on Dean’s face was enough to get a smirk out of Sam. It seemed as though Gabriel is getting back to his old self, then.

Cas tilted his head, and though his expression could have mainly been described as confused, there was something in his eye that Sam noticed. Humor, he guessed.

“I hate to interrupt,” Rowena interrupted, “But I can’t be the only one who noticed the rather glaring hole in this plan.”

Sam was only half-listening, packing some glow sticks into his backpack. They all already knew how risky this was going to be.

As he continued packing, she continued talking, “We open up the rift, it gives us a _day_ to find and save your Mom and the boy. And it’s a very big world over there, and you’re not even sure where they are, so…” She trailed off.

Castiel looked up. “She’s right. The clock may run out on us.”

“Yeah. It might,” Sam said, tucking a gun into his waistband.

Dean piped up, “Yeah, well we don’t have any better ideas.”

Rowena didn’t sound convinced. “Mm, that’s inspirational.”

Gabriel walked in, vial in hand. “Here it is! The final ingredient- a fresh serving of archangel grace.” He put the vial on the table with a flourish. The vial looked practically empty. Rowena picked it up and they all gathered to squint at the small amount of grace. Rowena looked up with a sour look.

“This is what you call a serving?” She said.

Gabriel looked offended. “ _That_ is the jet fuel of divine emissions.”

Dean made a disgusted face, but Gabriel soldiered on, “It’ll be more than enough to get the job done.”

Rowena and Castiel looked at each other, skeptical. They continued getting ready for the plan despite reservations. Rowena added the grace along with the other ingredients. The contents of the bowl began to glow.

Rowena cast the spell with a chant, directing it with her hands. A glowing rift formed in the air at the end of the table. It gently wavered, and just as everyone was about to step through, it began fritzing. Slowly the rift drooped over before crackling and disappearing. 

Castiel commented, “Well, that was...fast.”

“Very, very fast,” Sam said. He glanced at Gabriel, who looked both concerned and disgruntled. 

Rowena also looked at Gabriel. She looked unamused, and Sam would say a little irritated. “One could even say premature,” She said.

Gabriel started to look flustered. He glanced around. “Um...I thought it would be enough.”

Sam sighed. “All right, great. What do we do now?”

“Hell if I know,” Dean said, helpfully.

Castiel looked serious as ever. “You do know. We all do.” 

Rowena shot a frightened glance at Sam. He had a pretty good idea of what Cas was thinking, and he didn’t want to hear it.

Castiel continued, “We need archangel grace. Gabriel’s obviously running a little low, and we don’t know how long it’ll take him to recover. So that leaves exactly one source on Earth.”

Sam was sure his face was broadcasting how much he thought that was a bad idea, how much he dreaded the thought of even looking at Lucifer again. 

“No.”

Castiel sounded sympathetic but held his ground. “I don’t like it either, but there is no other way.”

Rowena bit her lip and hung her head. Sam let out a shaky breath. Fuck.

“We need Lucifer,” Castiel stated.

Castiel went off to talk with Sam and Dean, leaving Gabriel and Rowena in the library. 

Gabriel felt the same hot embarrassment as before creeping up the back of his neck again. He walked around the library, trying to busy himself to put off any comments about his lack of power. At full charge, that small amount _would've_ been enough. He pulled a book off a shelf and flipped it open. He didn’t read any of the words on the pages. Rowena was sitting at the table behind him, and he felt her eyes on his back.

He _had_ to say something. He really did. “It’s not always like that.”

Rowena cut him off. “Gabriel, please.” She sounded patronizing.

Gabriel aggressively flipped through the book. He knew he looked defensive. Like he was compensating.

“Just ’cause I take a little extra time to recover-”

Rowena cut him off again. “I don’t need to hear your excuses.”

“It doesn’t make me any less of an archangel.” And, okay. If he said that to appease himself as much as to convince the witch, sue him.

Rowena rolled her eyes with a sarcastic, "Hm. Right."

Gabriel snapped the book shut and turned to walk around the table, standing opposite Rowena. He talked as he made his way over. “You know, it could have been you who screwed up that spell. Just sayin’. I heard your, uh, magical unbinding didn’t take, that you got knocked back down a peg. Maybe it’s you who are off your game.” 

Rowena looked offended. Good. Now they were both pissy. She retorted, scathingly, “A drunk 6-year-old could execute that magic. It wasn’t the spellcaster or the spell. It was the ingredient.”

Gabriel worked his jaw, disgruntled. He knew that, thanks, Rowena. He was trying to rile her up, but he wasn’t gonna get anywhere he wanted trying to blame her. Gabriel rolled his eyes and turned away. “Think they’ll be much longer?”

Rowena raised her eyebrows. “The Three Amigos? With their bro hugs, pep talks, and melodrama? Count on it.”

Gabriel half-shrugged. Figures. 

“I’m sorry about your wounded masculine pride,” Rowena said, though she didn’t sound very apologetic. 

Gabriel huffed and sat down opposite of her. “Whatever.”

Rowena leaned in slightly, and her expression shifted into something more genuine, more sympathetic. “Really. I know about having power and then losing it. Feeling empty, as if something that was tied to your very being has been cut loose.”

Gabriel just looked at her, expression hard. He was torn between getting defensive again and latching onto their similarities. He was aware of her sordid past, full of terrible choices and actions, full of fear of death. Their conversation from the night before swirled around his mind. But she couldn’t possibly _know_. 

He just looked down. He absent-mindedly scratched the tabletop with his index nail. “The harder they fall,” he murmured, not looking up at her. He didn’t want to look at her for this.

Rowena made a soft noise of confusion. But she wasn’t confused, no. He could tell she was just probing for more details. 

“I was an archangel.” Was. Past-tense. He knew if he had a therapist or some celestial equivalent they would probably apprehend him for not saying ‘am’. 

She was smart. Far smarter than any hunter probably gave her credit for. He knew that she understood what he wasn’t saying. A witch, even one as powerful as she, was not at his level, or what was his level. He supposed the feeling that is piercing the insides of his body is humility. He has been humbled. He couldn’t piece together the rest of it, though. He felt something else. He felt disconnected. Detached. Asmodeus grabbed the very fibers of Gabriel’s being and ripped them apart like a ratty old blanket. Shattered him as if he didn’t use to be one of Heaven’s deadliest weapons. As if he wasn’t the one destined to herald the apocalypse and unite the Heavenly forces. As if he wasn’t a key role in the duties of Heavenly Judgement. 

It was fitting, he figured. He spent centuries giving just desserts to dickish humans, knocking them down a peg through irony and trickery. He now has been knocked down several pegs. Angels losing their grace makes them practically human. This was worse, though. He hadn’t been cast down. He was liked when he left, which he did willingly. Now, he had no angelic power, but it wasn’t taken from Heaven. He wasn’t serving a sentence. This was a punishment not given by Heaven, but by fate. He could probably deal better with the idea of being a fallen angel. He wasn’t, though, so how was he supposed to move on? He had hope, which was cruel. His grace was diminished but not gone completely. He could recharge with time, but he was useless right now, when he was needed, which stings more. It was like he had a goal just out of reach, grazing his fingertips on his absolution with no real grasping. He was straining for something he wasn’t completely sure he would get. He was desperate for salvation, and was there anything more human than that?

He let out a deep sigh before finally looking at Rowena. Her face was like stone, no sense of reaction to inner turmoil, other than a small glimmer of recognition in her eyes. 

“This isn’t just about the grace, is it?” She asked, softly.

Gabriel cleared his throat. He didn’t need to confirm, she already knew. The question was rhetorical. He gave a jerky nod before putting his head in his hands, elbows on the table. What was he now? No Loki, no Gabriel. The pagan tricks were gone. His grace was gone. All of a sudden he found himself sitting in a stuffy, underground bunker, both halves of his dual identity stripped away, waiting for the two humans that managed to actually reach through to him to hurry up with their discussion over his brother, who tried to kill him.

He didn’t know what to do, but he wasn’t going to say that out loud. He may have been a husk of his former self, but he still had his pride. Which was definitely wounded, thanks, Rowena. 

Rowena reached out a hand and pulled Gabriel’s hands from his face, and if he looked as miserable as he felt, she didn’t mention it. She led his forearms down to rest on the table and twisted her mouth to the side. “Stop wallowing,” she said.

“Easy for you to say, Miss _Magic: The Gathering_. You’re the meatheads’ biggest ally, very helpful.”

"Since when did you want to be helpful?"

Since it became his last option. Since it became obvious that he had nothing better to do. Since he realized that he should’ve done more the first time around. Since he reckoned with the fact that teaming with the Winchesters may get you killed, but going up against them will get you killed.

Since he saw the look on Sam’s face as he ran from his problems, again. Since he saw the dread staining Sam’s deposition because Dean’s time was running out after he made a deal with a crossroads demon. If he could do it all again, he might’ve made some different choices. He probably still would’ve run from heaven. He definitely still would’ve messed with assholes under the guise of ‘trickster’. 

He might’ve taken a different approach to teaching Sam Winchester a valuable lesson. Tough love, clearly, did not work. Mystery Spot did nothing but make Sam hate him, even if it was just for a little while. 

But telling him or Dean straight that their codependency will be their downfall wouldn’t have worked either, so what was he supposed to do? He would’ve still tried to get through to Sam. He’s given up on all of his responsibilities, but trying to help Sam was the one thing he took on and intended to succeed at. Trying to stave off the apocalypse before it even happened, getting Sam to leave Dean in Hell and move on. The one time Gabriel actually truly _tried,_ it was a lost cause. 

It was so cliché. He was not about to ask for redemption. He didn’t need it. He barely even wanted it, right? But, still, he found himself in this bunker, waiting on an update for a mission he didn’t even want to be a part of in the first place. He told them earlier that he would offer his services in exchange for their assistance in his revenge plot, implying that he would only help them if they helped him. He wasn’t sure that was entirely true anymore. If he had taken out Loki and the others on his own, he had a feeling he might’ve found his way here, in this fucking bunker. How did he have a second chance when he never asked for one? Never deserved one?

“Okay, you really need to get out of your head. I bet it’s a sad place there.”

“Fuck off, Rowena.”

“Really, you keep spacing out. Why don’t you talk to me about it? If not me, someone else? I swear, you men, you’re all so annoying. Keep bottling up your feelings and you’ll explode.”

Gabriel didn’t know whether to point out that she was just as closed off as he was or that he wasn’t technically a man. 

“I’m just working through some stuff, alright? Back off.” He half-heartedly pushed her hands away from him. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” It was the most honest he’s been in a long time, and it took everything within him to admit it.

“You move on. You’re going to recharge your grace eventually, and since you can’t get enough at the moment, you do your best right now. That’s what we’re all doing,” Rowena said, sounding more earnest than he’s ever heard her. Well, what do you know, apparently being emotionally vulnerable lets other people be emotionally vulnerable. She reached over again and grabbed one of his hands. He let her pick it up and hold it between hers. 

“Whatever you’re looking for- whoever’s approval you’re trying to get- doesn’t matter. Not if you don’t get it through your best.” She dropped his hand like it burned her. “Now stop being a baby and making me say things so sickly and saccharine. We have jobs to do-” She shrugged one of her shoulders. “Well, I have a job to do.” 

Gabriel watched in silence as she turned her attention to the table. It wasn’t often when someone could leave him speechless. He couldn’t thank her, he’d probably drop dead or something. But he probably should.

He leaned in. “Hey. Ro.”

Rowena looked up. “What?”

Gabriel just looked at her, words dying in his throat. He tried to murmur a thanks. She shook her head and leaned forward. A smirk slipped across her face, as if she knew what he was trying to do, but she just wanted to hear him say it. Bitch. “What was that?”

“Hey! We got a-” Dean’s voice rang throughout the library, startling Gabriel and Rowena back away from each other.

“Um, what’s going on here?” Sam asked, eyes frantically darting between Gabriel and Rowena. Fuck.

“Uh, we were just um-”

“Getting acquainted,” Rowena cut in.

Sam’s eyes widened and he worked his jaw. 

“Well,” Rowena said looking between Sam, Dean, and Castiel expectantly, a small smile on her face. “Did you boys arrive at a decision?”

“Sam has a plan.” Dean gestured to Sam. Great.


	5. great plan, really smart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel tried to mentally connect the Lucifer who stabbed him, the Lucifer who cried in a bar, and the Lucifer who made snarky comments even as he was bound and kneeling on the floor.

“You sure this is it?” 

Rowena sighed. “Yes, of course, I am. He’s coming here. Now, stop questioning me and make yourself useful.”

Gabriel figured if she could track him, then tracking Lucifer was probably a similar affair. He busied himself behind the counter of the bar, some shithole called ‘Joe’s Town Club’. If this was the town club, Gabriel felt bad for the townies.

A part of Gabriel wondered why Lucifer would want to come in here in the first place, it’s not as though Lucifer had hit rock-bottom again. He walked, free, and it’s not as though he was graceless like Gabriel practically was. Another part of Gabriel wondered if something else had happened, involving Lucifer, that Castiel didn’t tell him about. Or maybe didn’t even know about.

Either way, Gabriel didn’t really feel any sympathy.

“Make sure to give him this-” Rowena handed Gabriel a vial. “Put it in whatever drink you give him.”

Gabriel tossed it up and caught it with a flourish. “Magic roofie, huh? Very clever,” He said and grinned at her. 

Rowena stepped back. “I’m going to be back here until he is well and truly out of it.”

“Thinking about making a dramatic entrance are we?”

Rowena sniffed as if she did not want to dignify that with a response and walked towards the back door. She stopped suddenly and half-turned back. “You can disguise yourself, right? Without, uh, messing things up?” She asked, with a quirk to her brow.

“I’m sorry, is that thinly-veiled concern?” Gabriel responded, just to be an asshole. “It’ll be fine. Disguising isn’t even that hard.” Enchanting the exits, however, might be a little more challenging, though he did not say it. She knew that already. Making sure Lucifer couldn’t walk out was her responsibility, and Gabriel was sure she already had the right spell in mind.

A sob story and several “beers” later, Gabriel made himself known. 

_ Nothing in this place ever changes, ever. Except me. _

_ You’re not Dr. Sexy.  _

_ Ah, I swear that I didn’t. Who are you, pal? _

Strawberry syrup, tennis shoes, letting a name he shouldn’t have known slip. The devil’s in the details, so to speak. 

“Kinda spiked your drink. Think of it as a magical roofie, powerful enough to bring down any archangel,” Gabriel becomes himself, “-even me.” He never said he himself wasn't dramatic.

Gabriel appeared beside Lucifer, just to freak him out a little.

After scuttling around for a bit, (man, the drink really did a number, huh) Lucifer tried to flee through the door, just as Gabriel thought he would. He reentered the bar at the other side and gingerly sat back down. “Okay. What in the hell did you put in that drink, man?”

Rowena stalked out from the back and listed the ingredients. “Very simple ingredients for a very potent spell.” See? He knew she was going to be dramatic.

Lucifer laughed in disbelief at the sight of her before trying to escape again. 

Rowena cast another spell and purple cords wrapped around Lucifer’s wrists, binding him. Gabriel shoved Lucifer back down and pulled out an archangel blade.

Lucifer’s laughing turned into sobbing. He told them to go ahead and put him out of his misery.

What the hell? Gabriel exchanged a disgruntled look with Rowena. They shared confusion at Lucifer’s behavior. Gabriel raised the blade to use the hilt to knock him out.

\---

Gabriel tried to mentally connect the Lucifer who stabbed him, the Lucifer who cried in a bar, and the Lucifer who made snarky comments even as he was bound and kneeling on the floor. 

Lucifer looked back and forth between everyone in the room who was watching his grace drip from the cut in his throat. He stopped at Gabriel and made eye contact. “Okay, you could’ve done this back at the bar. Could’ve drained me, killed me. What’s this really about? Humiliation? Revenge?”

Sam piped up from where he was leaning against a pillar. “Nah, those are just bonuses. See, we got a lot of work to do back in Apocalypse World, but not a whole lot of time to do it. So I realized something. I realized we could use you.”

Rowena opened the rift at Sam’s signal.

“Use you not to just crack the door open, but to keep it open. So we’re gonna drain you. We’re gonna keep on draining you.”

“Like a stuck pig,” Dean added.

“Grace on tap. Sorry, bro.” Though Gabriel was sure he did not sound nor look apologetic. He certainly didn’t feel apologetic. He knew he didn’t _actually_ die, but still. Every time he looked at Lucifer he saw Elysian Fields.

He turned his back on Lucifer and followed Sam through the rift, like he felt he was meant to. 

\---

Castiel matched Gabriel’s stride, walking alongside him. 

“Have you, uh, have you thought about what’s next, after we get back to earth?” Castiel looked like he was fishing for something.

“Uh, yeah, not so much, seeing as we still gotta find Jack and Mary. Ah, not to mention survive Michael and his super angel army.” Gabriel shrugged it off.

“Right.” Castiel looked down.

“Although, I did tick off some bucket list items recently. Got some revenge, both Loki and Lucifer. But what’s next for me? I don’t really know.”

“This world is obviously glutted with angels, but back home in our world, you know, it’s- it’s just Naomi and a handful of others. They’re trying to keep the lights on, but Heaven’s dying, Gabriel.” Castiel tried to cut straight to the point. 

Gabriel almost halted in place. “You serious?”

“Very.” Well, that was left out of the rundown they gave him of the events that had happened while he was in hiding or being tortured.

“And you think I could fix it? Yeesh.” It took all of his concentration to keep his tone at least semi-light. “I skipped out on Heaven, Castiel. They wouldn’t want me back. As far as they’re concerned, I’m a screw-up. Hell, as far as I’m concerned, I’m a screw-up.” It was as honest as Gabriel’s been for a long time, save the few uncharacteristically vulnerable exchanges he’s had with Rowena. 

“Well, Heaven’s been run into the ground by upstanding angels. Perhaps a screw-up is just the change we need,” Castiel assured him, which probably sounded a lot more comforting in his head. 

Still, Gabriel considered what Cas had said. He knew what he meant by it. He’s not a leader, though. Never has been. Physically, yes, him stepping a foot into heaven would rejuvenate some of its foundations, being an archangel and all, and possibly would give angel’s hope, which, from the sound of it, they haven’t had in a long time. 

But there’s no telling what stepping a foot into heaven would do to Gabriel emotionally. He hasn’t been in Heaven for several millennia. He doesn’t know how it would feel to be back there, plagued with memories of a forgotten family, brothers who are either dead or hate each other. Heaven was lined with history of war and peace, both of which Gabriel had an eyewitness account. He knew that Heaven obviously kept running after he left, all that time ago, without him. Angels continued to take orders and fight with each other and intervene on Earth, following the vague outlines of a God who is not there and will not listen. Past the pearly gates, so much has changed and yet, nothing has changed at all. He doesn’t know what it looks like up there anymore, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Talk about culture shock.

Even if he was built for ruling or meant to lead, he felt as though his presence in Heaven would send him crumbling down. Not physically, of course. Being in Heaven would do wonders for his grace, like a charger plugged into an outlet. He was the youngest archangel, though he was ancient. He was no king. Prince, maybe, but not a king. He played it off to others as laziness. Too much work to run a place like Heaven. But he knew it was fear. He had a lot of that these days. It was a lot of responsibility, and he wasn’t certain that he was strong enough to bear it.

\---

Let it be known that Gabriel was vocal about how going into the cave was a bad idea. Faster does not trump safer, thank you very much. It was stupid, Gabriel thought, that they were following people they didn’t know, especially right into a dark space crawling with vampires. The vampires in this world were a lot more vicious than those in their world. 

‘Here’s the plan: stay close, keep walking, if anything moves, kill it.’ Sam had said.

Great plan. 

They walked down the tunnel, keeping an eye on their surroundings and beheading anything that gets too close. They came across a blockage in the passageway. While they worked on moving the stones, a vampire jumped out and grabbed Floyd from behind.

Call him heartless, Gabriel didn’t really _care_. It was sad, for sure, seeing the Apocalypse World hunters get hurt and possibly die, but it wasn’t their problem. They weren’t here to save randoms.

Dean moved to join Sam, Maggie, and Floyd in the fight. They were all fighting off vampires, pushing them away and grappling for control. 

Gabriel heard Dean yell Sam’s name, and he abandoned his task to Castiel and ran down the side tunnel. He moved past Dean and saw Sam, trying to fight off the vampires. One used Sam’s hair to yank back his head, exposing his throat. Before the other one could lean over and bite Sam’s neck, Gabriel grabbed Sam’s abandoned machete off the ground and beheaded the creature. The first vampire hissed and Maggie screamed. Dean literally blew its head off with his shotgun, which Gabriel would admit was pretty cool. 

After clearing the rest of the vampires that were trying to kill them, they headed back to the main tunnel. Castiel had finished clearing the passage, and they made their way out of the caves.

Eventually, they made it to the outskirts of the colony, it seemed as though taking the Morehead Tunnel actually saved them some time. 

“We must be getting close to Dayton. On the outskirts at least,” Maggie said.

Castiel stumbled and groaned a little. “This warding- it’s strong.”

Since the close encounter with the vampires back in the cave, Dean was practically glued to Sam’s side. But now, Dean goes to inspect one of the sigils on one of the trees.

Sam took this opportunity to follow Gabriel to one of the other sigils. “Hey.”

Gabriel cut down through the sigil with his blade and placed his hand on it. “Hey,” He said back. The sigils glowed and burned out, allowing Castiel to move freely. 

“I, uh. Wanted to thank you.”

Gabriel turned to him and smirked. “Oh, really? How much is it killing you to say that?”

“Gabriel.” Sam had a far too earnest look in his eyes for Gabriel to continue being a dick. 

“Okay, okay. You’re welcome, I guess. I obviously couldn’t just let you die.” 

Sam’s mouth quirked up a bit and flustered Gabriel. “Whatever. Turn your doe eyes in someone else’s direction, Winchester.”

Whatever response Sam would have had died in his throat when a couple of human fighters come out, threatened by the disruption in the warding. Before they attacked, however, Mary made her way to them.

Watching the Winchesters tear up and hug their mother kind of made Gabriel sick, but it was also sweet.

Armed guards escorted Cas, Gabriel, and Maggie into the colony, while Mary and Dean followed closely behind. They all went through an open-sided shed that made up the entrance into the center of camp. 

The reunion between Jack and Sam, Dean, and Cas is just as, if not more disgustingly sweet as the mother-son Winchester one.  Gabriel geared up to make a _Three Men and a Baby_ reference but was stopped when a bell started to clang, signaling an alarm. Everyone looked around in concern. They looked to the entrance of the camp, where stood Lucifer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the sort of cliffhanger but this is sort of how 13x21 originally ended except it was sam with lucifer. hopefully ill get 6 up real soon :)
> 
> my plan as of right now is 13x22 rewrite for chapter 6, 13x23 for chapter 7, and then the ending for chapter 8 i might add an epilogue? but idk. there Will be More sabriel tho i promise


	6. get the hell out of dodge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What a piss-poor adventure.”
> 
> “Shut up, Gabriel,” Dean grumbled. “This was a rescue mission.”
> 
> As if Gabriel didn’t know that.

Castiel stepped up, angrily. “How did you get in here?”

“For starters, someone took the warding down,” Lucifer looked to Gabriel, “and I, uh, had to convince the guards to let me through.”

Castiel looked baffled but still angry. “ _Convince_ -”

Dean took a step towards Lucifer, but Lucifer held his hand up. “I didn’t kill them! That’s not what I do.”

“That’s exactly what you-”

“Not anymore. They’re asleep. I just knocked ‘em out a little bit, no biggie.” Lucifer grinned. “So, can I join the party now? It’s not like Gabriel is a big help. He’s weak.”

“Fuck you,” Sam said, startling Gabriel. Sam looked over and met Gabriel’s eye. He did not elaborate.

“C’mon, guys! We’ve had fun together! I’m here to join the team.”

No one looked like they have ever had or will ever have fun with Lucifer. Gabriel has, actually, but it was thousands of years ago, so not really relevant right now. 

“What happened to Rowena?” Gabriel asked, deciding not to go down that trip to memory lane.

“She’s fine. She blasted me before I could do anything to her, but it’s not like she could’ve stopped me from coming here.” 

“And how will you be a help to us?”

“Oh, I juiced up on my way.”

Lucifer held his hands out like he was being gracious, gifting his power to them. He let them drop and gingerly made his way over to Jack. 

Before he could strike a real conversation, Dean stomped over. “No. No, no. No. You don’t talk to him,” He pointed at Lucifer, “And you, don’t listen to him,” He pointed at Jack.

Lucifer gently asked, “Um, don’t you think that’s his choice?”

Castiel walked over. “No.”

Lucifer scoffed. “Are you trying to keep me from my son?”

“Well, this is Kelly Kline’s son. He’s nothing like you.”

“Don’t say he’s nothing like me. I’m the only one who understands him. This power he has? I’m powerful, dangerous, ruthless. In the best sense, though.” Lucifer kept glancing at Jack. Lucifer was always manipulative in his charms, and Gabriel wanted to scream. 

Jack has been silent, assessing Lucifer. 

“No. Kill him,” Dean said and gestured at Gabriel.

Gabriel felt incredibly uncomfortable, unable to move. He didn’t act. Jack looked shocked at Dean’s words.

“He can’t. He’s not strong enough.” Lucifer laughed.

That stung, but he wasn’t necessarily wrong. Physically or mentally, Gabriel wasn’t equipped for this. “Dean…”

Dean turned on Gabriel. “You’ve got the blade.”

Jack interjected, softly, “Stop it.”

“He’s the devil. Kill him.”

Jack said, again, louder this time, “Stop it!”

There was a sound of fluttering wings, and Jack was gone.

Dean turned to Lucifer, “Well, great. Does that when he’s scared. Way to go, Dad!”

“I’ll go look for him,” Gabriel said, mostly to get himself away from whatever this situation is, but partly so he doesn’t do something stupid like mention that scaring Jack was mostly Dean’s fault. He walked off towards the trees.

\---

Gabriel saw Jack sitting on the ground, back to a tree. He walked up to him, slowly, trying not to spook him.

“Hey, kid.”

Jack looked up and gave a small, pained smile. “Hello.”

“I’m sure you’re confused, and that’s alright. But everybody’s worried about you. So why don’t y-”

“What was Lucifer like before the fall?”

Gabriel felt his body tense up. He tried to keep himself from being too stony-faced since he knew Jack wasn’t trying to dredge up the miserable feelings that Gabriel gets when he thinks about how it used to be in Heaven for too long. “Well, uh. Different, I guess. But now, looking back, not too different.”

This just made Jack look even more curious. “And? Different how?”

Gabriel sighed and sat next to him. “Well, humanity didn’t exist yet, so everything about Heaven was wildly different. Our lives, us archangels’ I mean, were completely different. After humanity was created, Heaven’s entire purpose changed. It became an afterlife for humanity. And, for us, it wasn’t an afterlife. It was life.”

Jack nodded. “So, Lucifer didn’t like the change?”

“Most people were a little disgruntled, I guess. But God loved humanity so much upon its creation, it was contagious. We were supposed to protect humans, so most angels were pretty on board. Lucifer didn’t exactly take well to it.”

“But what about before?”

“He was fun, mostly. I mean, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, obviously. We clashed sometimes. We fought and argued. But there was a lot of love there, too. We were family.” Gabriel knocked Jack’s shoulder with his own. “Don’t get me wrong, Lucifer was still arrogant. And snarky. And annoying. But it wasn’t as bad because the malice wasn’t really there yet.” 

Gabriel looked at Jack for a moment, really studying him. “He’s charming, Jack. Don’t forget that if you listen to him. They don’t call him silver-tongued for nothing.”

Jack gave a nod. “Thank you, Gabriel.” 

“Don’t mention it.” Gabriel stood and wiped the dust off the front of his pants. “No, seriously, don’t mention this. Dean’ll think I was trying to corrupt you, and I’m kind of already on his bad side.”

“What did you do?”

“Oh, I killed him a whole bunch of times.”

Ignoring Jack’s bewildered expression and vocal protests, Gabriel gave Jack’s head a quick pat and walked off. 

“Tell Castiel I’m going off scouting! Later, kid!” 

\---

Gabriel wandered around the camp, looking for trouble but also not at all looking for trouble. He didn’t know how long he had been walking, but he found himself a pretty good distance from base camp. 

He saw movement in his peripheral. “Shit.”

Angels. A group of them. 

Gabriel turned and frantically ran through the forest, vaguely in the right direction. He spotted the road and broke out onto it, about 15 feet in front of the rest group. Michael’s warriors were hot on his heels.

“Angels!” Gabriel shouted in alarm, warning the others, as if they couldn’t see. 

Gabriel ran to join the group, and he would deny it if you mentioned him running right towards Sam. The whole group armed themselves. Lucifer craned his neck to see the action. The lead Angel warrior held up a fist, halting his squad right in front of them. The two groups faced off.

They braced for an attack that did not come. The angels all exploded into dust. Cas, Gabriel, and Sam turned to look at Lucifer. He had his arm up, post finger snap, and looked bored. The cuffs that Gabriel assumed Castiel put on him glowed red and melted off.

“Oh yeah, about the cuffs -- I knew they wouldn’t hold me in this world. Long story short, I didn’t want your impotence to get awkward, so I just went along.”

Dean stared angrily while Sam looked worried. They glanced at each other.

“You’re welcome. Welcome. Right? Don’t...thank me all at once,” Lucifer said, awkwardly.

Lucifer nudged Jack with his elbow. “See. Team player.”

\--- 

Gabriel lounged around the straps outside Singer Auto Salvage, tossing stones into the junkers. He was bored, but not bored enough to fully eavesdrop on Lucifer’s conversation with Jack, at least until he heard his own name. 

Lucifer pointed at him. “That’s your Uncle Gabe.”

“Yeah, we’ve sort of met.”

Lucifer guided Jack over towards Gabriel.

“So, thing about Gabe- class clown.”

Gabriel turned and gave a sarcastic smile. “And you’re an assclown.”

“Ha. You hear that? He’s such a cut-up. I mean, I can’t- Yeah, uh, I guess your time with Asmodeus didn’t do you any favors, did it, bud?”

Jack looked confused. If Lucifer was trying to use Gabriel to gloat in front of his kid, it wasn’t working. Gabriel was irritated and uncomfortable. He was going to make sure any interaction with him wouldn’t make Lucifer look any better in Jack’s eyes. 

“Yeah, well my time with you was worse.” Physically, it actually wasn't, but there really was something about your own brother trying to kill you that truly guts you as a person. “You recall-”

“I recall nothing. I don’t recall anything at all. Happy endings. All good, happy endings.” Lucifer turned to Jack. “Uh, meet Gabriel, your uncle.”

Jack held up a hand in greeting. “Hello.”

Gabriel’s irritation at Lucifer stopped him from smiling, though he wanted to. Jack was a good kid, too bad Lucifer was obsessed with bonding with him. “Hello.”

Gabriel turned away from them, officially done putting up with Lucifer’s act. Lucifer followed, of course, nothing could stop Lucifer from being annoying.

“So I was just shaking up the old family tree for young Jack here. You know, talking about the good old days. How tough Pop was. Right, G? I mean, we butted heads a lot, you know. But, uh...you know, I think in hindsight, I should’ve given Him some slack ‘cause, you know, being a dad is tough.”

Gabriel was incredulous at Lucifer’s gall. The audacity to twist their past in order to appeal to his superiority complex. “Okay, you think Dad was a ruthless villain and you were a victim? As if you didn’t fall because of your own pride? Your envy? Your hatred? You were not a _victim_ , Lucifer. That was just your excuse.”

“My excuse for what?”

Gabriel turned his back to them and walked off. Over his shoulder, he said, “For it all, Lucifer. For it all,” leaving Lucifer to flounder doing damage control to his son. 

Gabriel stalked over to the other side of the scrapyard, aware that he looked like an angry child. 

Sam, always the observant one, went up to Gabriel and grabbed him by the arm. “Hey, you okay? What are you stomping around for?

“It’s my new idea of fun, Sam, since I am sans tricks.”

Sam wasn’t deterred. “Really, what’s up with you?”

“Family stuff, Sam. I’m sure you can relate.”

Sam gave a glance to Lucifer, who was gingerly explaining something to Jack. “Did Lucifer try something?”

“If by ‘try something’ you mean lie and ignore centuries of apathy, sure. He tried something.”

Sam clenched his jaw. “He’s trying to get into Jack’s head. I don’t trust him.”

“None of us do, Sam. How are we even gonna use him? Stolen grace doesn’t keep.”

“Kill Michael? I guess? I think Jack wants to do it but-”

“He’s a kid. Yeah.” Gabriel looked down before meeting Sam’s eyes. “So, uh. What _exactly_ is the plan here?”

“Well,” Sam looked around. “We round up all the survivors, including those who aren’t back yet, and we go home.”

“Well, if anyone is going to convince these people to abandon their life mission, it’s you."

Sam smiled and hung his head. “We’re going to bring them back once we have a more solid plan on taking down Michael. They’re just using our world as a safehouse.” Sam’s expression sobered up. “I actually wanted to ask you something.”

Sam cleared his throat and continued, “What do you think about possibly staying?”

Surprise flashed across Gabriel’s face. “I’m sorry?”

“Well, I was thinking since we’re going to come back to take out Michael anyway, it might be a good idea to have somebody stay behind. For insurance.”

Gabriel scoffed. “Insurance.”

“I mean,” Sam gestured wildly, “We need someone behind to make sure nothing goes wrong.”

“So, you’re leaving me behind.”

“We’re not leaving you. I’m not leaving you. We’re going to come back.”

“Oh yeah? How? Because I know you are not bringing Lucifer back through the rift.”

“Of course not.”

“So, you want someone to babysit the devil while you get out of here? How will you get back without an archangel’s grace?”

“We have Jack. Shouldn’t he be powerful enough?”

Sam had a point, but that didn’t mean Gabriel was happy about it. “You’re sure you’ll come back?” Gabriel meant it to be a snide comment, as if to make fun of Sam’s plan, but it definitely came out a lot softer and scared than Gabriel wanted to admit. 

Sam reached out and touched Gabriel’s shoulder. “Yes.”

Gabriel let Sam’s hand linger for a second, basking in its warmth, before shrugging it off. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

\---

A few hours later, Gabriel and Lucifer were still there, watching the camp.

“This is so stupid,” Lucifer complained.

Gabriel sat on some tires nearby. He was also bored, but he wasn’t going to let Lucifer know that.

“Dean said to stay behind. Any angels show up, we gotta defend this place.”

Lucifer sighed again and put his face in his hands. His frustration was starting to be amusing to Gabriel, rather than obnoxious. “It is really killing you, you’re not out there impressing your kid, huh? Lucifer, do you really see a version here where he sticks by you?”

Lucifer shrugged. “I think the kid is pretty blown away by his old man, so, yeah. I do.”

The lack of self-awareness stunned Gabriel. “He’s a kid. He likes shiny objects and magic tricks. But he’s not like you. I can see it in his eyes. His mother’s bloodline, the Winchesters’ influence-”

“I can be an influence.”

Which is literally what led to the downfall of humanity, but okay. “Ugh. He’s not gonna want that. He’ll see who--what--you are.”

“I’ve changed.”

Gabriel stood and walked over to Lucifer. “Dude, it’s me. I’ve known you since the stars were made. You can’t change. You’re incapable of empathy or love. You live to be worshiped or feared. Or both.” It was mean, and a little untrue, but Gabriel didn’t care.

“Okay. I see that you’ve -- you’ve drunk the Kool-Aid. Fine.” Lucifer pouted and tried to shoo Gabriel away. What a baby.

“Oh, is this the part where you tell me that, uh, Dad made up all those so-called lies about you? Got it.”

“Yeah! Yeah, Pop locked me up, okay?”

“Don’t you get it? Humans were innocent and beautiful. But you couldn’t stand that the old man loved them more than He loved you. So you tempted them and corrupted them just to prove how flawed they were.” Gabriel was there when it happened, and even if he wasn’t, it was literally the first lesson in Bible school.

He was starting to get to Lucifer now. “You better be careful, man,” He threatened. 

“Dad saw that your evil was like the first few cells of cancer, that it would spread like the disease unless He cut it out. That is why He locked you up. But it was too late then. And guess what? It’s too late for you now.”

It was harsh, yes. Gabriel never claimed to not be cruel. He was ruthless and wrathful and missed his power. He missed his family. He was tired of Lucifer acting as if he wasn’t the one who changed everything, as if he didn’t hurt him. 

“ _We_ are not God’s finest creations. Humans are. And by the way, broken homes have to _be broken_ by something or someone.”

Gabriel turned away, leaning on the truck bed and looking back at the camp. He didn’t hear a response, and he wasn’t going to probe for one. 

\--- 

Once Charlie and Ketch were back, the next thing on the to-do list was to get the hell outta dodge. Lucifer sat at the wheel of the bus in the scrapyard and Dean was outside working on the engine. After the engine rumbled to life, Gabriel strolled over to Dean.

“You’re gonna let _Lucifer_ drive?”

“This way, we know what he’s doing, and Cas can keep an eye on him.” Dean checked his watch. “We’re running out of time.”

Sam supervised the survivors boarding the bus and gave Dean and Gabriel an acknowledgment of their time remaining.

Dean climbed behind the wheel of a jeep with Sam riding shotgun and Gabriel and Jack in the back seat. The bus followed behind. Everyone was on high alert.

“What a piss-poor adventure.”

“Shut up, Gabriel,” Dean grumbled. “This was a rescue mission.”

As if Gabriel didn’t know that. 

“Hey, the rift should be right up here, can you two behave until we get through it?” Sam said, ever the peacemaker.

Still, success or not, Gabriel was still seething over his earlier standoff with Lucifer. He couldn’t wait to get the fuck out of here.

The convoy drove through the forest and arrived at the rift. The rift seemed dim and flickered. Sam clambered out of the jeep. “It’s closing,” He called out. “We’re running out of time! Come on!”

The rift that was fading resurged and stabilized.

Dean shouted, “Lucifer! Let’s go!”

Sam and Dean guide the survivors through the rift, single-file. Sam stopped Lucifer from following, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up.”

“What? I want to be with my son.”

“We need you and Gabriel here, in case something goes wrong. Wasn’t that the whole point of you being on the team?” 

Sam exchanged a glance with Gabriel, who was standing guard over the stream of people going through the rift. Lucifer came even with Gabriel and stopped, hearing a loud boom. Sam and Dean joined the two archangels and looked skyward. A flaming ball fell from the sky, hitting the ground in a violent explosion, blasting and killing the few unlucky remaining survivors. Gabriel flinched, recognizing the fireballs as an angel attack. Accompanied by a loud ringing noise, Michael stood before them. “Gentlemen.”

Lucifer stepped forward. Michael gave a condescending smile. “Lu. You don’t really want to try this again, do ya?”

“Um...Yeah.”

They started fighting, blasting power at one another until Lucifer was knocked to the ground where he moans in pain. Michael smirked at Lucifer, but then looked up and noticed Gabriel. The smirk slipped off his face.

“Can it be? Gabriel?”

Gabriel looked back at Sam and Dean and took a step forward. He said over his shoulder, “Go. I can buy some time.”

“Gabriel, don’t.”

“Sam, all I did on Earth was run. I’m not running anymore.”

Gabriel took a few more steps forward and Michael smiled cruelly.

“Guys, Go!”

Dean pulled Sam towards the rift, but they stopped just before it, eyes turned back to watch Gabriel’s fight with Michael. Michael pulled out a blade, and Gabriel raised his own and moved into combat position. They exchanged blows back and forth. Michael swung with his blade and Gabriel dodged. He dashed over to Lucifer and helped him up. 

Dean went through the rift, but Sam stopped just in front of it, a determined look on his face. He turned back to see Lucifer staggering to his feet and clutching his arm. Gabriel tried to get Lucifer to get back into the fight but was unsuccessful. Gabriel kept on the defense. Avoiding the conflict, Lucifer made his way to the rift, but Sam stopped him once again. 

“Sam, what are you doing, man? I’m hurt. Please.”

Coldly, Sam shoved Lucifer back. "How did you think this was gonna end? Be useful for once and help Gabriel.” Sam looked over at Michael, who had Gabriel by the throat. “Hey!” 

Michael turned his attention to Sam, who jumped through the rift just as it was starting to close behind him.

“No. No! No!” Michael dropped Gabriel, who gasped for breath.

The rift closed just as Michael got there. He looked around, furious. He stood in front of Lucifer and Gabriel on the ground. Gabriel and Lucifer shared a look of resignation.

“You know what?” Lucifer spoke. “We know how to reopen the rift.” He looked up at Michael.

“Lucifer, what the fuck are you doing?” Gabriel asked under his breath.

“Well, he can’t kill us," Lucifer responded in kind. He raised his voice, looking to Michael again. "Because we know the spell. We saw them do it. We know what it takes. Without us, you can’t get what you want."

“And I should trust you two why?”

Gabriel spoke, still quiet but loud enough for Michael to hear. “Because we want to live. Lucifer wants to get his son, and you want-”

“Everything else.”

Gabriel felt nauseous. 

“So, I let you live as long as you can perform the spell. And we all step through. Are we agreed?”

Lucifer looked over at Gabriel expectantly.

“Yeah,” Gabriel huffed out. “Okay.”


	7. why dont you tell us what happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We are not teaming up with Michael for real."
> 
> "See! I knew it!" Lucifer pointed across the table at Gabriel. "I knew you would have a problem with it, but it's our best shot!"
> 
> "Lucifer, I don't even want to be working with _you_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter a little long bc i fit a lot into it ! i tried to put the whole climax in this chapter so the final one will be winding down and tying loose ends and is generally just more chill. sorry if anything feels rushed! I tried to make it seem plausible as if it were an episode but idk. at the end of the day I dont really feel bad abt making dumb writing decisions bc I will never be as bad as the actual spn writers <3
> 
> also everything u don't see and everything that happens off-camera that doesn't directly contradict the fics canon, u can assume plays out like the actual episode (like lucifer killing maggie, lucifers conversations w jack, etc.)

“This fucking sucks.”

“Great observation, Captain. You’re the one who got us into this mess.”

Gabriel and Lucifer sat at a table in a rickety old shed in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. On the table were a dish, mortar and pestle, fruit from the tree of life, and a vial containing the blood of a holy man. All essentials for an interdimensional spell. 

“Hey, I saved our asses. Michael would’ve smoked us both back there if we didn’t cut him a deal.”

Gabriel threw his arm up. “Okay, and? Now, we have to either find a way to double-cross him without dying or team up with him for real. Got any more bright ideas?”

Lucifer sighed and fiddled with the pestle in front of him. “Listen. I know you’re not gonna like this-”

“We are not teaming up with him for real.”

“See! I knew it!” Lucifer pointed across the table at Gabriel. “I knew you would have a problem with it, but it’s our best shot!”

“Lucifer, I don’t even want to be working with _you_.”

“Wow, okay. Harsh.”

Michael was coming back any second, and Gabriel didn’t have time to sit here and argue with Lucifer. He reached over and plucked a hair from Lucifer’s head, partly because of his frustration and partly because of the spell. “Okay. Now, all we need is the grace."

Gabriel stood and paced the length of the room. “We gotta come up with something. I know you probably don’t give a shit, but Michael wants to make our world look like this one. Our Heaven is fucked enough without having a genocidal tyrant commandeering the few angels we have left into annihilating humanity.”

“Are you plotting out loud because you’re including me? Or are you going to turn on me as well? Considering I’m the ‘cancer’ of the world.” Lucifer’s voice dripped with disdain.

Gabriel really did not have time to get into this again. “Look. I’m not going to apologize for that. Was it probably too harsh? Maybe. But you can’t say I’m wrong. Even if you’ve truly changed, it is not for the right reasons. You want to put years of rejection and hatred behind you? Try reconciling with the fact that you brought that rejection down upon yourself.”

Lucifer vehemently shook his head. “Propaganda. _I_ got corrupted too! I wasn’t the sole corruptor! The Mark-”

“The Mark of Cain released its hold on you the second you passed it onto Cain. That was the whole point. It affects the bearer. Stop making excuses and blaming other people, you narcissistic-”

A flash of light glared through the windows and a rumble of thunder shook the walls. Michael appeared in the room, looking authoritative, staring between Lucifer and Gabriel. 

“Do we have everything?"

Gabriel shrugged a shoulder. “Just need some grace.”

“And you could not have added your own?”

Lucifer tapped on the tabletop. “Yeah, well, mine’s not actually mine, and uh,” He gestured to Gabriel. “He’s barely got any.” One side of his mouth pulled up, a mean half-smile full of contempt.

Michael assessed Gabriel, making sure Lucifer was telling the truth. And, well, Gabriel _has_ had a lot of practice pretending not to be an angel, so he didn’t blame him.

“Fine.” Michael agreed after a long silence. “I will extract some grace. I will be back with a vial after I reconvene with my officials.”

“What the fuck was he doing earlier, then?” Gabriel spoke out into the empty space Michael used to occupy.

“Probably deciding what to bring back to our world."

Gabriel pointed to Lucifer. "Listen, we really need a plan. I need you to back me up here. It'll be two against one."

"What? After everything you've said to me, you want me to drop everything to help you? How do you even know we can kill Michael?"

"You wanted to be a good guy right? Here's your chance, asshole. Anyway, even if we can't kill Michael, we can at least take his grace."

Gabriel turned his back to Lucifer, studying the wall with intensity so that he didn't look Lucifer in the eye.

"Wait a minute. Holy shit! You're going to absorb Michael's grace to recharge? What was with that look you gave me then for draining his goons?! Now, who's selfish?"

That was uncalled for, Gabriel thought. He knew he was, but at least he didn't pretend to not be, like Lucifer. 

"Honestly? Whatever." Lucifer waved a hand. "I don't care. But, for security, I'm pocketing the vial until way after we get back." He continued over Gabriel's sputtering protests, "You're going to use it to take me out! I need to know that you won't."

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to try to take you out, damn." He and Lucifer stared each other down. "Fine, you know what? You hold onto it. When we get through to the other side and take care of Michael, I'll let you go in our world, without warning the Winchesters. If-" He held up a finger. "You give me the vial later."

Lucifer pondered this idea for a moment, stalling before finally agreeing. "Fine."

Gabriel sat back down at the table and rested his head in his hands. “We’re really doing this. Okay. Cool. Great, okay.”

Lucifer kicked Gabriel under the table. “Chill out. Even if Michael tries to take over our world, the Winchesters are right there to save the day again.”

Gabriel wasn’t sure how many more times the world could count on the Winchesters before shit went sideways permanently. 

“Look on the bright side. I’ll get back to my son, you’ll get back to...whatever the hell you’re living for these days.”

“Myself, thanks.” Gabriel took a pause. “Do you _care_ about Jack?”

“Um? He’s my son?”

“Yeah, whatever. And if he wasn’t?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Gabriel gripped the edge of the table and leaned in. “I mean, Castiel adored that kid before he was even born. No immediate relation. If Jack was a Nephilim from some other angel, would you even look twice at him? Or would he be an abomination, the offspring of a celestial and a cockroach?”

Lucifer swallowed. “Well, having a human mother isn’t really Jack’s fault-”

“Do you want a _son_ or do you want an heir?”

“I shouldn’t have to sit here and defend my interest in my own son.”

“You’re right. You shouldn’t.”

“Why do you even care? You gunnin’ for the role of father number four?”

“I don’t. I just met the kid. I just,” Gabriel sighed. Jack was a good kid. Sweet. Tried real hard. Maybe a little too curious, but ultimately had good intentions. He wanted to save people and do right. Lucifer didn’t.

“I’m distrusting of your intent, is all.”

Before Lucifer had the chance to retort, probably to tell Gabriel that it was none of his business anyway, Michael arrived again, glowing vial in hand. Lucifer took it, and turned to add it to the ingredients in the dish. Lucifer pocketed the now-empty vial and glanced at Gabriel out of the corner of his eye. Gabriel gave a discrete nod. When Lucifer finished, he shared a glance with Gabriel before chanting, casting the spell. While staring at the rift beginning to form, Gabriel tried to quickly form a plan in mind. He couldn’t just push Michael away and hope the rift closes behind him before he could follow, Michael now knows how to perform the spell. Plus, he probably couldn’t time it well enough anyway to pull it off. He would have to kill him. He didn't really have any ideas.

He felt the cool press of silver against his wrist. Okay, so maybe he did have an idea. 

When the rift formed completely, Lucifer passed Gabriel. Before he could pass Michael, Michael stuck his hand out. “Hold on. I will not be cheated out of passage again like earlier. I will go first.”

Gabriel kept his face neutral, though he wanted to grin. Leave it to Michael to let his arrogance overshadow a bad choice. Like deciding to turn his back on two people he tried to kill earlier. 

Gabriel grabbed Michael from behind and slit his throat, while Lucifer caught Michael's grace with the vial and pocketed it. Instead of healing the cut, they left it, and Michael crumbled to the floor. Gabriel reached down and struck him with the blade for good measure. 

Gabriel stood, the blade still clenched in his hand. Lucifer put his hands up in mock surrender. “You, uh. Aren’t gonna turn that on me are ya?”

Gabriel waved the blade in front of Lucifer. “You’d deserve it. But you’d also blast me if I tried. Now let’s get the hell out of here.” 

Lucifer lowered his hands with a smug grin. “You first.”

Gabriel didn’t actually think Lucifer would stab him in the back, but he also didn’t actually think Lucifer was going to stab him in the stomach years ago. Gabriel was occasionally wrong. He rolled his eyes and gave Lucifer a shove, who was close enough to the rift that Gabriel managed to successfully push him through. Gabriel looked down at Michael, his brother who is not actually his, and took a deep pause. He let out a shaky exhale and averted his eyes from the body. He clambered through the rift. 

They were in the middle of an unfamiliar field. “Know where we are?” Lucifer asked.

“Not a damn clue.”

Lucifer nodded. “Cool. Um. I think we are a few miles out from Lebanon, actually.”

“We’re in Kansas?”

“That’s what I just said, yeah.”

Lucifer pointed ahead of them. “That’s Highway 281. We can follow it until we get inside the city line. From there it should be easy to get to the bunker.”

It was really convenient, actually. Gabriel figured they needed to meet up at the bunker anyway, considering Lucifer was still set on seeing Jack, and they needed to announce Michael’s death to the survivors from the other world. 

Lucifer started to head in that direction, but Gabriel grabbed his shoulder. “Uh, ‘we’? You have enough juice to get there instantaneously. I’m the one who has to do it on foot unless I want to take a 3-day nap.”

“Yeah, I could. But not yet. You are my ticket to a warmer welcome, and I don’t feel like waiting for your ass to show up."

"Even with me, they are not going to be happy to see you. I thought you wanted me to cover for you?"

"Well, fine. I am very stealthy. Actually, you could distract anyone else who is there while I nab Jack for a little chat.”

“Well, then fucking zap me there, then.”

Lucifer shook his head. “Nope. I like the idea of you having to work for it.” He slapped Gabriel’s shoulder.

Gabriel clenched his hand around the handle of the blade that was still lodged in his fist. He was seriously contemplating jabbing it into Lucifer’s fat head. This was the worst road trip movie ever, considering they didn’t even have a car. Gabriel walked by Lucifer, purposely knocking his shoulder into him on his way. Lucifer caught up with him and matched his stride.

They had only been walking for a few minutes before Lucifer started talking again.

“You know, you are so ungrateful,” His tone was terse, words irked.

“Excuse me?”

“You willingly ran out. I got cast out. You purposely stripped yourself of the angel identity. I spent so long trying to build mine back up, and I failed. What part of that is fair?”

“Our situations were nothing alike. Plus, you aren’t trying to be seen as Lucifer the archangel. You want to be seen as Lucifer the new God, which you will never be.”

“What about the first part? You running out? You gave up something that was taken from me.”

“Yeah, because of you.” Gabriel abruptly stopped in place and turned to Lucifer. “Listen, if you’re traveling by foot so you can use it as an excuse to try to churn out more victim bullshit, then you can just leave me here. Feed it to someone who might actually believe it.”

“Gabriel, you’ve known me since the beginning of time. I’m your brother.”

“So was Michael.” Gabriel turned back in the direction they were walking and kept going, leaving Lucifer a few steps behind him.

He heard a fluttering sound and looked over his shoulder. Lucifer was gone. It seemed as though Gabriel had finally burned that bridge. Fuck, and he didn't even get the vial of Michael's grace from him. But, he couldn’t stop himself. He knew making Lucifer mad wasn't a good idea, but he couldn't afford to trust anything Lucifer said to be true or genuine. Even if Lucifer did want to change, Gabriel wasn’t exactly feeling forgiving. He was focused on justice and wrath. He couldn’t just forget Lucifer’s past, as much as Lucifer wanted him and everyone else to.

Apparently, the field was right near the outskirts of town. It didn’t take Gabriel long to reach the entrance to the bunker. He knocked on it once. The door opened, revealing Castiel.

“Hey, bro. Miss me?”

“Gabriel.” Castiel looked surprised. He reached out and wrapped his arms around Gabriel’s shoulders.

“Oh, um. Hello.” Gabriel awkwardly hugged him back. When Castiel released his hold, he led Gabriel down the stairs. 

“When we found out Lucifer was back we thought he killed you.”

That sure was comforting. “How did you know Lucifer’s back?”

“He just disappeared with Jack.” Castiel’s face went gloomy at the prospect, clearly angry. 

“Of course he did.” Gabriel didn’t expect anything less. 

The rest of the freedom fighters were sitting in the library. Dean, Mary, and Bobby at a table and Sam with Maggie at the other. When Cas entered with Gabriel, they looked up at them. 

Sam immediately stood from his seat. “Gabriel!”

“Hey, losers-” 

Gabriel found himself caught up in his second hug within the past two minutes. “Okay, we’re just gonna do this now. Cool.” 

Again, he awkwardly hugged back, but this one felt different. Castiel’s vessel is taller than Gabriel’s, sure, but Sam’s body towers over him, and instead of being intimidating, it was comforting. There was something nice about Sam’s long arms wrapping around Gabriel’s shoulders, big hands splayed across Gabriel’s back. 

“We thought you were dead,” Sam’s voice was raspy in Gabriel’s ear.

Dean cleared his throat from behind Sam, quirking a brow but looking almost...fond?

Sam coughed and let go of Gabriel, who immediately missed the warmth. “Uh. If you died it would have been very...inconvenient.”

Gabriel cracked a smile. “Well, okay then. I will die in a way that is convenient for you.”

“Never is probably good for me, you moron.”

Gabriel didn’t know what to do with all the sentimentality in the air, especially since looking Sam directly in the eyes right now made him feel like imploding. 

Dean spoke up, effectively waving away the emotion in the air. “Sorry to interrupt, but how exactly did you get back here?”

“The spell, obviously.”

“What do you mean, the spell?”

Gabriel sighed and moved to sit down. He knew he had to be very careful with his explanation. “After you guys dipped and left Lucifer and me with Michael, we kind of convinced him to not, you know, smite our asses.”

Sam sat down across him, expression wary. “Convince how?”

“We made a deal that the three of us would walk through the rift together-”

Vocal disagreements arose from all sides, clearly upset with what Gabriel had said. 

“You were gonna let Michael into our world, knowing what he would want to do with it?” Dean shouted.

“Well, it would be a little hard for him to do that considering how dead he is!”

Bobby leaned over. “Michael’s dead?”

Gabriel closed his eyes and took in a breath. “Yeah. Yeah, he is.”

Sam reached out and placed his hand on the table in front of Gabriel. “Why don’t you finish telling us what happened,” He gently prodded.

“We gathered the ingredients. Pretty easy, considering Michael had all the authority he could ask for. When the rift opened, I caught Michael by surprise. Stabbed him in the back. Literally.” He choked out a laugh. “And now I’m here.”

“And how did Lucifer fit into all this?” Dean asked.

“It was his idea, I’m afraid to say. Getting on Michael’s good side by baiting him with the spell. I don’t think he cared about letting Michael through, though. Or if he did, he didn’t really say anything.”

Sam cleared his throat and looked down at the table, only briefly meeting Gabriel’s eyes. “Why didn’t you kill him too?” 

“Sam, I was lucky to even get Michael. The only reason that worked was because he was distracted and I did it out of nowhere. Lucifer saw me do it, he would’ve killed me before I would have even had the chance.”

Dean didn’t accept this. “So you let Lucifer go? He just took Jack somewhere!”

“Okay, Lucifer was roaming free on this side before we even went to the other world. Don’t act like I set him loose on unsuspecting masses.”

Mary put a hand on Dean’s shoulder, effectively calming him. “Yes, but it’s different now. Lucifer lost motivation before, but now he has one. Jack,” She said.

“Then wherever Lucifer is, Jack is too. Why don’t one of you pray to Jack or something? Lucifer will probably tag along.”

“Gabriel’s right.” And if there was anything better than hearing Sam Winchester say those words, Gabriel didn’t know about it. 

“Right now, prayer is our one guaranteed line of communication,” Sam said.

“Fine, then.” Dean vaguely gestured at Sam. “Do it.”

Sam’s eyes closed for a moment before they snapped open. “I, uh. I can’t do it with everyone watching,” He said, sheepishly.

Gabriel stifled his laughter with his palm and Dean groaned in exasperation. “Are you kidding? We don’t have time for this, Lucifer is probably convincing Jack to join him this very fucking second.” Dean closed his eyes and continued, louder, “Jack. We need you right now. C’mon.”

They waited with bated breath. When nothing happened, Gabriel slapped his hands on the table. “Well, he’ll probably get back to us in 2-5 business days.”

Castiel gave Gabriel a stern look. He nudged Dean and spoke to the ceiling. “Jack, I don't know where you are, and I don't know if you can hear this, but we’re really worried about you. We need you to come home.”

They waited again. Just as they started to get disappointed, a fluttering sound got their attention. 

Jack stood at the head of the room. “I heard your prayer.” He looked around the room. “Is there an emergency?”

Sam stood and took a step towards Jack. “Not really.”

Jack furrowed his brow and tilted his head. If Gabriel could point it out without getting the shit kicked out of him by Lucifer, he would admit that Jack bore a lot more resemblance to Castiel than Lucifer.

“You said you needed me.”

“We do, but not in that sense. We need you because you’re family.”

Jack’s expression softened.

The moment was ruined by another flutter of wings nearby Jack. Lucifer mockingly waved at the room at large and sarcastically said, “Yeah, it's me. Yay!” He leaned toward Jack. “Uh, we done here, buddy?”

It seemed like Jack did not hear Lucifer, because his attention was glued to Gabriel. 

“Uncle Gabriel?” To be honest, Gabriel liked the sound of that. 

“Hey, kiddo.”

Lucifer moved to grab Jack’s arm, but Jack stepped forward, out of Lucifer’s range. “How did you get back?”

Huh? Gabriel looked over Jack’s shoulder at Lucifer, who looked both sheepish and frustrated, trying to herd Jack back.

“Your old man didn’t tell you?”

Jack looked pointedly at Lucifer. “He left some details out, I guess.”

“It wasn’t important,” Lucifer interjected.

“Oh, so Lucifer didn’t tell you he made a deal with Michael? The world in exchange for you?” And, okay, Gabriel left some details out. Twisting reality was kind of his thing. It’s not like anyone ever called him honest Gabe.

Jack’s face was expressionless. He turned to Lucifer. “What does he mean?”

Lucifer sputtered. “Hello?! You were there too!” He glared at Gabriel. 

In Gabriel’s peripheral, he noticed Dean lean over and murmur in Mary’s ear. She nodded and signaled to Bobby. They both guided Maggie out of the room, assumingly to avoid this situation, not that Gabriel could blame them.

“As I recall, I was the one actively trying to _not_ include Michael. You were the one who said it would be easier to comply.” Gabriel grinned, mean and glorious. “Michael was going to nuke this world, Jack, just like he did his.

“Is that true?” Jack asked Lucifer, voice soft.

“No! It's not.” Lucifer denied. “Okay. Hold on a second. Let's slow down, 'cause I am not currently the bad guy here.”

“Yeah, tell that to Maggie.” Sam nodded his head in the direction where Maggie left.

“What about Maggie?” Jack looked between Sam and Lucifer.

“Maggie saw the eyes of the person who killed her. The glowing, red eyes.”

“You're gonna--you're gonna believe this guy? Come on, man! Sam's a hater!”

Jack moved towards Lucifer, eyes glowing and hand outstretched. “Tell me the truth.”

Lucifer’s eyes started to glow, his head tilted to the side. “She saw me when I was scouting out the bunker. She saw me and she screamed, so I crushed her skull with my bare hands. I liked it.”

Jack stumbled backward. “You're not my father. You're a monster.”

“Come on,” Lucifer yelled so forcibly that Sam and Dean covered their ears. “Okay. I tried with you. I really tried with you. I told you what you wanted to hear, man. So what?! I killed the girl! Big deal! She's--she's a human! She doesn't matter!”

“So am I!”

“Yeah? And that's your problem.” He pointed at Jack. “You're too much like your mother. We could've been something, you and me. We could've remade the universe. It would've been great. We could've been better gods than Dad.”

Gabriel loudly scoffed, but Lucifer wasn’t deterred. Lucifer continued, “And I really wanted that, pal. I wanted that. But now if I can't have it with you, I don't need ya. I just need your power.”

Lucifer pulled out an angel blade from his sleeve and cut Jack on his neck. He grabbed Jack's jacket in his fist and sucked Jack's grace into his mouth. He healed the cut and Jack looked as if he was going to collapse.

Gabriel, Sam, and Castiel rushed forward to grab Jack. Sam touched Jack, causing an explosion of light. Castiel was thrown back by the force, while Sam was absorbed into it. Gabriel grabbed onto Lucifer in the nick of time.

\---

They landed on the floor of a church. Sam struggled to his knees. Lucifer shoved off Gabriel, standing in front of them, holding Jack up by his coat collar.

“Really, you guys? Hitching a ride? I mean, do you ever quit?”

“Go to hell,” Sam spat.

”Hell, yeah. Been there. Done that.”

Lucifer dropped Jack and kicked Sam, knocking him to the ground next to Gabriel.

He loomed over them both. “You know... it's been real fun. I really had a great time with you, but I think we should see other people. What do you say, Sam?”

Lucifer reached down and yanked Sam up by the throat. Before he could do too much damage, Gabriel pulled out his blade and jabbed it into Lucifer’s ankle. 

“Fuck!” Lucifer dropped Sam. “You really are sneaky with that thing, aren’t you?” Lucifer kicked Gabriel again in retaliation. 

“Stop it!” Jack called out. 

Lucifer turned. “Now why should I listen to you?”

“Because I'm your son.”

“Oh, yeah. Well, you had a chance with that, but-” He punched Jack, sending him to his knees. “Now?” Lucifer hit Jack again, and Jack fell to the ground completely. “As for kids...Ah, I can make more of those.”

Sam shakily stood up and tried to grab Lucifer by the shoulder. Lucifer hit him in the face and he fell to the floor as well. 

“Wow, Daddy Sammy coming to the rescue. But your little Jackie, the nougat-loving boy that you had before, he's killed people. He's got lots of blood on his hands.”

“I don't care. He's family.”

“Ha! What's family done for anybody?” He made his way to Gabriel’s crumpled form. “My dad left me. My brothers tried to kill me. A lot. Family blows. And I'm gonna prove it to you.”

Sam coughed, though it was probably supposed to be a laugh. “What, by killing me? Go ahead.”

“No, I'm not gonna kill you.” Lucifer picked up Gabriel by the jacket in one hand and pointed to Jack with the other. “He is.”

Jack and Sam looked at each other and Lucifer pulled out his angel blade again with one hand, still clutching onto Gabriel with the other. He tossed the blade in between Sam and Jack.

“Now I could and probably should kill you both. I mean, really, really use my imagination. But I'm feeling generous today. So one of you is gonna walk out that door, and the other one will be laying dead on the ground. You choose.”

“What about Gabriel?”

Gabriel barely registered the conversation. His vision was cloudy and there was a dreadful ringing in his ears. 

“Oh, well. Three people in this room could die, but only two of them are going to. The question is whether the first one is going to be you, or Jack. The second one is him-” Lucifer jostled Gabriel for emphasis, “Either way.”

“No.”

“Or I could just kill all three of you and then the rest of the universe. Remake it in my image, better than Dad ever could. I might give humans another chance if they know their place and worship me, 'cause I've earned it. But hey, it'll probably take a few days to unravel the universe, maybe, uh, 7, 10 days tops. So maybe, just maybe, one of you could stop me. Maybe. Clock's ticking, guys.”

Jack spoke up. “Why do you want to kill Gabriel?”

Gabriel managed a choking laugh, and Lucifer jerked his body in response. “It’s personal,” He said to the room at large. He lowered his voice, directly aiming at Gabriel. “You said I was incapable of empathy? That my love for anything is rooted in my own narcissism? That I want worshipers rather than a family?” His tone was laced with venom, as if he wanted nothing more than to prove Gabriel wrong, which made Gabriel chuckle again. 

“Yeah, you’re doing a really great job making your case, by the way.”

Lucifer grinned menacingly. “I can’t wait for Sam and Jack to hurry up. I want to save killing you for after.” 

Behind him, Sam and Jack had been exchanging a back and forth with the angel blade, both refusing to be the one to survive. 

Gabriel watched them for a moment before practically hacking out a lung. 

“Gross, man,” Lucifer commented.

“You know something, Lucifer? There’s something really great about not using any grace for several days.”

That caught Sam’s attention, stopping him from trying to shove the handle of the blade into Jack’s hand.

Before Lucifer could respond Gabriel started laughing again. “A little trick goes a long way.”

Realization briefly flashed in Lucifer’s eyes before bright, fire-like light burst out. The Gabriel clutched in Lucifer’s hand faded away, leaving the real one standing behind him. He had picked up his discarded blade from the floor and stabbed Lucifer from behind, literally stabbing him in the back. Talk about poetry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on one hand, im sorry if you are a lucifer stan. on the other hand, why are you a lucifer stan.


	8. now what?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What do we do now? Apocalypse World crisis averted."
> 
> "I guess you move on."
> 
> "We."
> 
> Gabriel looked confused, but the smile never left his face. He doesn’t think it would leave anytime soon. "What?"
> 
> "We move on".

Lucifer’s body laid on the floor, wings scorched into the Earth beneath him. 

“Oh my god,” Sam gasped. He looked up at Gabriel, standing over Lucifer’s body.

Gabriel let out a shaky breath, the blade slipping from his slack hand and clattering to the floor. He paused a moment, composing himself, before walking to Sam and Jack. He helped them to their feet, though Sam almost knocked him over with the force of his embrace. 

“You did it.”

“Yeah,” Gabriel breathed out. “I guess I did.” He wrapped his arms around Sam in return, and Jack reached out to touch his shoulder.

When they moved apart Gabriel looked around the church and scoffed. 

“What is it?” Jack asked.

“Lucifer loves irony.” Gabriel shrugged and gestured around the space. “This is a St. Gabriel’s Catholic Church.”

Sam coughed out a laugh. “Are you serious?”

“Deadly.” Gabriel sniffed and picked up his blade, tucking it into his jacket. “Hey, Jack. I would say sorry about your grace, but, uh-”

He leaned down and grabbed a vial from Lucifer’s jacket. 

“Here.” He handed it to Jack.

“Gabriel? Whose is this?” Sam raised an eyebrow.

“Okay so, uh. Storytime, I guess!” He gave a humorless chuckle. This was very awkward. “So, in honor of truth-telling? This is Michael’s.”

Jack looked at the vial in his hand. “Michael’s?”

“So, what, Lucifer drained him before you killed him? Why didn’t you say something earlier? Did _Lucifer_ kill him?"

“I didn’t lie to you, Sam, I swear,” Gabriel pleaded, though if you asked him, he absolutely was not pleading, at all. That would be very unbecoming for an archangel. And if he was, it definitely wasn’t because of Sam Winchester’s sad, disappointed puppy eyes.

“Look, Lucifer and I sort of teamed up to get his grace, and I killed him.”

“Why did you get it, though? What were you going to use it for?”

“Well, it was for me, actually. But-” Gabriel nodded towards Jack. “Lucifer took his, so. You can have it.”

“If it was for you, why was it in Lucifer’s jacket?” Jack asked, squinting at Gabriel.

“Look, I’m being uncharacteristically generous here. Do you want the grace or not?”

“No, no. He’s right. Why did Lucifer have it?”

“In return for using his own grace in the spell, he was going to keep it until he could trust me to not kill him.”

“So, you were going to help him?”

“No,” Gabriel said, a little too forcibly. “I made him think I was going to not be involved at all. You know, since that has kind of been my track record so far anyway. And obviously, that was a lie, since I literally just stabbed him!”

“And why didn’t you mention it before? Back at the bunker?”

“Because it didn’t matter. I don’t think he ever actually planned on handing it over.” 

“You didn’t think we would need to know about it? That Lucifer had Michael’s grace?”

“Okay,” Gabriel scoffed. “It’s not like it would really do Lucifer any good anyway. He’s already recharged himself and then he nabbed Jack’s.” He looked at Jack. “Just take the grace, Jack.”

Jack raised the vial and peered at it. He opened it up and raised it to his mouth. As Jack absorbed the grace, Sam fixed Gabriel with a serious look.

“Okay. Gabriel, I actually trust you.”

“Gee, thanks-”

“But, you need to be completely open and honest from here on out.”

The unease that those words gave Gabriel weighed heavy on his shoulders. He didn’t know why, since he was fully Team Winchester at this point. He was just so used to keeping his cards close to his chest, never showing his true self to anyone. Since the beginning of time, Gabriel has held onto the belief that there’s no one he can fully trust outside of himself. But, there was something about standing here, in front of Sam Winchester, who was looking at him with those doe eyes. He looked at the walls of the church, worn with time. The sparkling stained glass depicting humanity’s visions of hope about life, how they see Heavenly figures. He stood here, in Saint Gabriel’s, and pledged himself to man, just as he did in a dingy hotel conference room years ago. He hasn’t found salvation yet. It didn't find it in Heaven, but maybe he could find it here on Earth. He thought about Castiel and what he had said earlier. He knew he was different from the angelic masses, like Cas, his faith in humanity case in point. Maybe he _could_ change Heaven for the better. 

He sighed and looked Sam in the eyes. “I will.”

But, of course, Gabriel couldn’t let himself be cracked open in such a way without making light of it.

He allowed a moment of silence for the seriousness of their conversation to settle before smirking. “Well. In the spirit of honesty? I’d climb you like a tree.”

Walking past Sam, who flushed and sputtered, Gabriel patted Jack on the back. “Let’s get out of here.”

\---

They walked through the entrance of the bunker and down the stairs. Dean and Castiel rose from where they seemed to be having a very serious conversation. Castiel looked a little pink, and Gabriel was definitely going to ask about that later. 

“Sammy!” Dean called out and rushed to hug his brother.

After being updated on the status of everyone’s state of wellbeing, Dean and Castiel led Sam, Gabriel, and Jack to sit around the map table, but not before Dean hopped into the kitchen to grab beers for the group.

Dean demanded a full rundown of everything that had happened since Sam and Gabriel followed Lucifer and Jack to the church. Sam did most of the explaining, especially at the part about Michael’s grace, knowing that Dean would not take kindly to Gabriel harboring secrets. In the middle of the retelling of events, Mary and Bobby walked in through the library, presumably after walking in through the garage exit. They joined them. 

“Wait, so Michael and Lucifer are both dead?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah, two archangels almost back to back. Nice job,” Dean tipped the neck of the beer bottle he was nursing in Gabriel’s direction. 

“Yeah,” Gabriel agreed, with not much feeling. He took a swig of the bottle he had nabbed earlier. 

Sam touched Gabriel’s knee with his own. Gabriel looked up at Sam, who silently asked Gabriel if he was okay with a quirk of his brow. Gabriel shrugged, but the ends of his mouth quirked up. He didn’t know how to feel about what had happened. The Michael thing didn’t really get to him, considering that Michael wasn’t _his_ brother. He was the brother to another version of him. 

Lucifer was another story. Gabriel couldn’t, in good conscience, say he regretted it. There was some part of him, deep down, that wanted Lucifer to be telling the truth--that wanted Lucifer to change. But he knew Lucifer was too far gone. It was bittersweet, for sure.

“So, what about you guys?” Gabriel directed at Bobby, attempting to sway the conversation somewhere else. 

“What do ya mean?”

“Are you going back? Or staying?”

Bobby half-shrugged. “Everybody’s settling in town, and, to be honest, they all seem to be gettin’ pretty comfortable. I definitely like it here. Especially with Michael dead, I don’t feel as bad leaving my world behind, y’know?”

Mary reached out and touched Bobby’s arm. “We’re happy to have you here.” She smiled.

Dean clapped and stood. “Well, I know earlier I kind of jinxed things by talking about celebrations too early, but I _really_ think it’s time for a celebration now. I say we grab some grub.”

“I could eat,” Bobby agreed.

\---

They found themselves around the table again, this time with pizza. 

"So, I don’t believe we’ve formally met,” Mary said, regarding Gabriel with a friendly smile. “You’re Gabriel?”

“The very same.”

“So, the whole Christmas thing? That’s real, right? You telling the Virgin Mary that she was pregnant with baby Jesus?"

“Some things were mixed up in translation, obviously. He wasn’t born during the winter.” Gabriel gestured towards Mary and then to Sam and Dean. “Though she was not the only Mary destined with an important birth. You got _two_ of them.” He paused for the sentimental look that Mary was giving her sons. “But, yes, essentially. That was one of my many gigs.”

Sam put down his drink. "Yeah, didn’t you also take a guy’s ability to speak because he didn't believe you when you gave him news?"

"Oh, Sam. Your knowledge of biblical trivia is really doing it for me."

Dean glared across the table at the interaction. “You took a guy’s voice?”

“I was the messenger of the Lord and I had just given Zechariah news that his wife, Elizabeth, had been blessed, and he responds by waving it off. What was I supposed to do? It was only temporary, anyway, I gave his voice back once the news had come true.” Gabriel took a swig.

Sam grinned over the top of his bottle. He looked fond, but Gabriel told himself he was imagining things. “So, you’ve always played with irony, then?”

Gabriel gave him a shrug as if to say ‘what can you do?’

“So,” Dean said, words garbled around the food in his mouth. “Now that we don’t have world-challenging threats to deal with, what do you say we do now? My vote’s on a beach trip."

Castiel looked a little sheepish, like he was going to regret what he was about to say. “That is not completely true, actually.”

Mary stared at Castiel over her glass, and Bobby exclaimed, “What now?”

“Well, Heaven is practically in shambles.” Castiel looked over at Gabriel.

Gabriel put down his drink and sighed. “Yeah, okay.”

“Wait, what does that mean?” Sam looked back and forth between Cas and Gabriel.

“Angels are a dying breed, Sam.” Gabriel looked at Sam before addressing Castiel. “You really think I can do anything about it?”

“I know you have your reservations-" That was an understatement. Gabriel would like nothing more than to stay right here on Earth. "But the angels...they’d be happy to see you. You’d be their saving grace." 

The main sign that Gabriel felt overwhelmed was the fact that he didn’t make fun of Cas’ word choice, because really?

Dean leaned towards Castiel. "I’m sorry, are you sure Gabe being in charge is a good idea? We _just_ talked about how he used to use his power against humans."

Castiel studied Gabriel for a long moment. "There’s no one else it could be.”

Gabriel avoided his gaze.

“If anything, our conversation proves that Gabriel has had major Heavenly responsibilities before, so there’s nothing stopping him from having them again. He is fully capable.”

“Okay, I wouldn’t exactly say that.”

“I can help,” Jack said, suddenly.

“I’m sorry?” Gabriel did a double-take.

“I can go with you. I can help you fix Heaven.”

“Jack, I don’t-”

“I am powerful. I don’t want to sit by while you and Castiel take on all the work.”

“Well, it would mostly be me,” Gabriel said, ignoring Castiel’s glare. “Are you sure, kid?”

“Yes. Working together, none of us would be alone. We'd share responsibility.”

Gabriel looked at Castiel. “Well, Dad, does he have permission?”

Castiel doesn’t correct Gabriel’s calling him Jack’s father, which Gabriel felt a little smug about. “He would be helpful. As long as he doesn’t overwork himself.”

Jack and Castiel shared a smile.

\---

After dinner, everyone disperses, though they all seemed to just hang out somewhere in the bunker.

Gabriel sat at a table alone in the library before Sam walked over and pulled him from mulling over his future. Sam pointed at the seat next to Gabriel, silently asking if he could sit. Gabriel nodded.

“So, you’re going to be the new God?”

“Not exactly. I’ll kind of lead Heaven, but I’m definitely not going to be God.”

“What exactly are you going to do with Heaven?”

“Well, from what Cas says, it’s pretty sparse. I’m going to gather the angels that are left, get them in order. I’ll probably work on Heaven itself too.”

“Like letting the souls of humans see their loved ones, instead of just reliving their memories?”

Gabriel breathed out a laugh. “Yes, Sam. I’ll connect the Heavens of humans. I’ll have to prepare for you knuckleheads, for sure.”

“Me and Dean?”

“Nothing but the best for the Winchesters, of course.”

Sam’s mouth twisted to the side in a barely suppressed grin. He looked down for a long moment before meeting Gabriel’s eyes. He reached out and gently placed his hand at the side of Gabriel’s head, caressing the back of his neck.

“Sam?”

Sam leaned in and kissed him. He pulled away way too quickly for Gabriel’s liking. He kept his hand behind Gabriel’s head, though, which left Gabriel a little breathless.

"This all hasn’t been a joke, right?" Sam asked. "You flirting with me? That was real, right?"

Gabriel just let out a laugh and kissed him again in response. Eventually, Sam had to lean back again to catch his breath. He leaned his forehead against Gabriel’s, both of them wearing matching grins.

Sam’s voice was soft, not wanting to jinx the tender feeling in the air. "Aside from the Heaven thing, what do we do now? Apocalypse World crisis averted."

Gabriel’s response was equally as soft. "I guess you move on. I know you got Bobby back, but you know the world could use another hunter spot. This place is already a hunter’s paradise. Maybe set this place up. Welcome hunters from across the country, maybe the world. Train rookies. You’d retire without having a guilty conscience."

"We."

Gabriel furrowed his brow in confusion, but the smile never left his face. He doesn’t think it would leave anytime soon. "What?"

"We move on".

Sam reluctantly pulled away from Gabriel, sitting up straight, though he reached his hand out, palm grazing the back of Gabriel’s. Gabriel flipped his hand upwards and gently intertwined their fingers.

"Visit me? I know you’ll be busy, but... Will you come back to Earth once and a while?"

Gabriel’s smile only grew, if that was even possible.

"Oh, Sam. Like you could keep me away."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew!!
> 
> this was my way of jack absorbing michaels grace without killing him, since obviously I needed him dead earlier bc I wasn't doing the whole michael!dean thing
> 
> gabriel stepping up and helping restore heaven is v important to me bc the spn writers' way of having gabriel redeem himself was him dying for sam and dean which I was Not Having ! he can prove himself Without dying thanks <3
> 
> also ik zachariah is an angel in the show but the thing abt zechariah and elizabeth is real its luke 1:19-25 and I thought it was funny so I wanted to include it
> 
> contemplating adding an epilogue but only time will tell lmao. hope you enjoyed !! :) thanks for reading !! x


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